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Category: Babylon Bee

Trump Sends In Nicolas Cage To Reoccupy Alcatraz
Babylon Bee

Trump Sends In Nicolas Cage To Reoccupy Alcatraz

FinnMay 7, 2025

SAN FRANCISCO — Nicolas Cage has successfully infiltrated Alcatraz after being tapped by President Trump to reoccupy the famous island…

Trump Renames San Francisco Bay ‘Gulf Of Criminals’
Babylon Bee

Trump Renames San Francisco Bay ‘Gulf Of Criminals’

FinnMay 7, 2025

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — As part of his ongoing crusade to change the name of each body of water in…

Trump Promises To Negotiate Peace In India As Soon As They Take Him Off Hold
Babylon Bee

Trump Promises To Negotiate Peace In India As Soon As They Take Him Off Hold

FinnMay 7, 2025

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump has vowed to negotiate a quick end to the violence between India and Pakistan, just…

Woman Terrified Of White Men Leaves Africa For Minnesota
Babylon Bee

Woman Terrified Of White Men Leaves Africa For Minnesota

FinnMay 6, 2025

MINNEAPOLIS, MN — According to reports, a local woman and Congressional representative left Africa and immigrated to Minnesota, in spite…

9 Out Of 10 Financial Experts Now Recommend Saying The ‘N-Word’ On Camera
Babylon Bee

9 Out Of 10 Financial Experts Now Recommend Saying The ‘N-Word’ On Camera

FinnMay 6, 2025

U.S. — A new foolproof method to build long-term wealth has been discovered, as a recent survey showed that a…

Corporal Klinger Finally Discharged From Army After Trans Military Ban
Babylon Bee

Corporal Klinger Finally Discharged From Army After Trans Military Ban

FinnMay 6, 2025

UIJEONGBU — Corporal Maxwell Klinger has finally been discharged from the Army after the U.S. Supreme Court upheld the Trump…

10 People Trump Is Sending To The Reopened Alcatraz
Babylon Bee

10 People Trump Is Sending To The Reopened Alcatraz

FinnMay 6, 2025

With the whole nation abuzz with President Trump’s proposal to reopen and expand Alcatraz, it’s worth asking who, exactly, would…

Democrats Offer Illegal Immigrants $1,001 To Stay In US
Babylon Bee

Democrats Offer Illegal Immigrants $1,001 To Stay In US

FinnMay 6, 2025

U.S. — In response to President Donald Trump‘s offer to give illegal immigrants $1000 in exchange for deporting themselves, Democrats…

Newly Discovered Mosaic Law Required Israelites To Separate Themselves From Android Users
Babylon Bee

Newly Discovered Mosaic Law Required Israelites To Separate Themselves From Android Users

FinnMay 5, 2025

SINAI — Scholars marveled at the revelation of what was described as a long-hidden passage of religious text, as a…

Nation Takes Somber ‘May The 4th’ To Remember Deceased Star Wars Franchise
Babylon Bee

Nation Takes Somber ‘May The 4th’ To Remember Deceased Star Wars Franchise

FinnMay 5, 2025

U.S. — Fans reportedly took time on “May the 4th” for silent reflection, somberly remembering the now deceased Star Wars…

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