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Category: Babylon Bee

Trump To Expand Alcatraz By Putting Up Fence Around San Francisco
Babylon Bee

Trump To Expand Alcatraz By Putting Up Fence Around San Francisco

FinnMay 5, 2025

U.S. — A new era of dealing with depraved lawbreakers dawned today, as President Donald Trump vowed to reopen and…

New, Improved Hymnals To Include Silly Songs With Larry
Babylon Bee

New, Improved Hymnals To Include Silly Songs With Larry

FinnMay 4, 2025

U.S. — The Baptist Church has released a new, improved hymnal which contains all of the Silly Songs sung by…

Chipotle Announces Plans To Get Even Worse
Babylon Bee

Chipotle Announces Plans To Get Even Worse

FinnMay 3, 2025

NEWPORT BEACH, CA — Chipotle executives unveiled plans today for the restaurant chain to somehow get even worse.   Read MoreBabylon…

Bill Belichick’s Girlfriend Leaves Him For Lou Holtz
Babylon Bee

Bill Belichick’s Girlfriend Leaves Him For Lou Holtz

FinnMay 3, 2025

CHAPEL HILL, NC — Sources close to Jordon Hudson confirmed today that the 24-year-old has officially dumped Bill Belichick for…

Conductor Asks Congregation To Stop Yelling ‘Freebird!’ During Handbell Performance
Babylon Bee

Conductor Asks Congregation To Stop Yelling ‘Freebird!’ During Handbell Performance

FinnMay 3, 2025

FORT WAYNE, IN — Handbell choir conductor Matthew Grey was recently forced to ask the congregation to stop yelling “FREEBIRD!”…

Dems Update Statue Of Liberty To Say ‘Give Me Your Wife Beaters’
Babylon Bee

Dems Update Statue Of Liberty To Say ‘Give Me Your Wife Beaters’

FinnMay 3, 2025

U.S. — Democrats have updated the famous “New Colossus” poem on the Statue of Liberty to simply read, “Give us…

Democrats Warn Cutting State Propaganda Will Lead To Fascism
Babylon Bee

Democrats Warn Cutting State Propaganda Will Lead To Fascism

FinnMay 2, 2025

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Congressional Democrats sounded an alarm Friday, warning that cutting funding for state-sponsored propaganda programs would lead to…

Good News: The Duck Hunt Dog Has Passed Away
Babylon Bee

Good News: The Duck Hunt Dog Has Passed Away

FinnMay 2, 2025

KYOTO — The “Duck Hunt Dog” from the classic video game Duck Hunt has died, Nintendo announced Friday.   Read MoreBabylon…

Pitching Machine Tosses No-Hitter Against Local Dad
Babylon Bee

Pitching Machine Tosses No-Hitter Against Local Dad

FinnMay 2, 2025

RANCHO-CUCAMONGA, CA — In a historic display of baseball prowess, a pitching machine tossed a no-hitter against local dad Keith…

‘Hey Man, Want Any Red No. 40?’ Asks Dealer Opening Trench Coat
Babylon Bee

‘Hey Man, Want Any Red No. 40?’ Asks Dealer Opening Trench Coat

FinnMay 1, 2025

CHICAGO, IL — Authorities are advising citizens to avoid secluded alleyways due to reports of a suspicious individual wearing a…

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