Hosts Of ‘The View’ Go On Hiatus To Tear Unwary Sailors Apart With Their Talons
THE HIGH SEAS — Following the announcement of the show’s annual summer break, the hosts of ABC’s The View revealed…
Category: Babylon Bee
Top 10 Fallback Jobs For Laid-Off IRS Workers
With new reports indicating that President Trump’s administration has reduced the Internal Revenue Service workforce by a staggering 25% since…
Hulk Hogan Makes Surprise Entrance To Challenge Jacob To Wrestling Match
HEAVEN — What began as a regular day in Heaven was quickly turned upside-down, as legendary sports entertainment icon Hulk…
Biden Excited to See What Autopen Comes Up With For His Memoir
GREENVILLE, DE — Former President Joe Biden expressed great interest and enthusiasm in his upcoming memoir, adding that he’s quite…
Following Death Of Ozzy Osbourne, England Overrun With Millions Of Bats
LONDON — BBC News confirmed Wednesday that England is currently being overrun with millions of bats following the passing of…
10 Ways An AI Wife Is Better Than A Real One
With the dawn of artificial intelligence wives, you may be asking yourself: which is better? Artificial intelligence, or the real…
Trump Announces He Has Acquired Giant Anime Sword In Japanese Trade Deal
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump announced the details of a historic trade deal with Japan on Wednesday through which he…
Slaves Dutifully Sew ‘Pay Us What You Owe Us’ On Shirts For Professional Athletes
XINJIANG, CHINA — Ahead of warm-ups for the 2025 WNBA All-Star Game, Uyghur slaves were seen dutifully sewing the words…
Trump To Balance Budget By Introducing Swear Jar For Dems
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump unveiled his plan to balance the federal budget by introducing a nation-wide swear jar for…
Man Really Excited For Government To Release All The Government Documentation Of All The Government’s Crimes
FRANKLIN, KY — A local man is really excited for the government to release all the government documentation of all…