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Category: Babylon Bee

Awkward Start As Saint Peter Asks Francis If He Can Have His Pope Hat Back
Babylon Bee

Awkward Start As Saint Peter Asks Francis If He Can Have His Pope Hat Back

FinnApril 21, 2025

GLORY — The afterlife of one of the world’s most prominent religious figures got off to an awkward start today,…

Did Dad Get A Glow Up? Yep, That’s A Sexy New Plaid Shirt From Walmart
Babylon Bee

Did Dad Get A Glow Up? Yep, That’s A Sexy New Plaid Shirt From Walmart

FinnApril 21, 2025

SPRINGFIELD, IL — In a stunning transformation, local dad Greg Thompson debuted a head-turning glow-up this weekend with a brand-new…

People Who Bypassed Legal Process In Migrating To USA Demand Legal Process Before Being Kicked Out
Babylon Bee

People Who Bypassed Legal Process In Migrating To USA Demand Legal Process Before Being Kicked Out

FinnApril 21, 2025

U.S. — According to sources, several individuals who bypassed the legal process in migrating to the United States are demanding…

Roman Authorities Investigating Jesus For Violating Stay-In-Tomb Order
Babylon Bee

Roman Authorities Investigating Jesus For Violating Stay-In-Tomb Order

FinnApril 20, 2025

JERUSALEM—Roman authorities are investigating controversial religious leader Jesus of Nazareth for violating the Empire’s clear “stay in tomb” order. After crucifying…

St. John Signs Lucrative Nike Endorsement After Beating St. Peter To Tomb
Babylon Bee

St. John Signs Lucrative Nike Endorsement After Beating St. Peter To Tomb

FinnApril 19, 2025

JUDEA — Saint John the Apostle has reportedly signed a lucrative six figure deal with Nike following his win against…

Jackpot: Local Church Has Organ, Hymnals, Male Pastor
Babylon Bee

Jackpot: Local Church Has Organ, Hymnals, Male Pastor

FinnApril 19, 2025

PLANO, TX — After moving to Plano and spending weeks searching for a new church home, Dan and Cyndi Badeen…

Family Arriving For Easter Service Surprised How Different Church Looks Without The Christmas Decorations
Babylon Bee

Family Arriving For Easter Service Surprised How Different Church Looks Without The Christmas Decorations

FinnApril 18, 2025

ATLANTA, GA — As the Glennon family walked into church for Easter service today, they were caught off guard by…

Cain Raises $1,000,000 In Crowdfunding Donations After Killing Abel
Babylon Bee

Cain Raises $1,000,000 In Crowdfunding Donations After Killing Abel

FinnApril 17, 2025

EAST OF EDEN — Public opinion was heavily divided this week after accused murderer Cain raised $1,000,000 in crowdfunding donations…

UK Stabbing Suspect Pleads Muslim
Babylon Bee

UK Stabbing Suspect Pleads Muslim

FinnApril 17, 2025

LONDON — Prosecutors were stopped in their tracks this week and left with no recourse to pursue the case any…

Liberals Warn Enforcing Immigration Law Is A Slippery Slope That May Lead To Enforcing Other Laws
Babylon Bee

Liberals Warn Enforcing Immigration Law Is A Slippery Slope That May Lead To Enforcing Other Laws

FinnApril 17, 2025

U.S. — With politicians and pundits still involved in heated debates over the legality of the deportation of an MS-13…

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