Christian Couple Praying Their Kid Throws Up So They Can Avoid Hosting Small Group Tonight
TULSA, OK — Local couple Mark and Ellen Lindell prayed fervently today for their three-year-old to vomit so that they…
Category: Babylon Bee
Men’s Group Text Enacts Formal Bylaws Banning Exclamation Points, Heart Emojis
WORCESTER, MA — A golden age has come to a local men’s group chat after bylaws were officially adopted which…
Cruel: Elon Musk Cuts Off Social Security Benefits For Thousands Of Revolutionary War Veterans
U.S. — The Department of Government Efficiency faced renewed calls for independent oversight after news broke that DOGE boss Elon…
Delta Adds A Little Hanging Tennis Ball To End Of Runway For Female Pilots
U.S. — As an added safety measure to prevent further runway catastrophes, Delta Airlines has added a little hanging tennis…
10 Suspicious Names Still On Social Security Rolls
Elon Musk’s Department of Government Efficiency is still in the process of combing through the records of the Social Security…
Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals
CHICAGO, IL — Yet another batch of heathy vegan food was painstakingly synthesized using 957 chemicals earlier today at the…
Disney Is Abandoning DEI – Here Are 10 Based Changes They’re Making
Disney announced last week they would be discontinuing their Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion hiring practices, a giant move away from…
The Trump Admin Says Dept. Of Education Should Be Dis Mantled. This Is Why Their Mistaken
Following a tumultuous — and some may say — reckless — three weeks gutting government agencies vital in running our…
Congress Warns Trump’s Attempts To End War In Ukraine Could Result In End Of War In Ukraine
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Members of Congress are sounding the alarm that President Trump’s efforts to end the war in Ukraine…
Legion Of Doom Condemns JD Vance Speech
SLAUGHTER SWAMP — Despite the overwhelmingly positive reaction to it from American and European citizens, a statement released by the…