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Category: Babylon Bee

Man Fakes Death To Get Out Of Church Committee Meeting
Babylon Bee

Man Fakes Death To Get Out Of Church Committee Meeting

FinnJanuary 15, 2025

ST. PAUL, MN — Local man Roger Marks faked his own death in an incredibly elaborate ruse to get out…

Innovative New Bible Concordance Gives You Out-Of-Context Verses To Justify Any Behavior
Babylon Bee

Innovative New Bible Concordance Gives You Out-Of-Context Verses To Justify Any Behavior

FinnJanuary 14, 2025

GRAND RAPIDS, MI — Zondervan Publishing announced today that it would be introducing a new Bible concordance that gives readers…

To Avoid Prosecution In Britain, Neil Gaiman Joins Islamic Grooming Gang
Babylon Bee

To Avoid Prosecution In Britain, Neil Gaiman Joins Islamic Grooming Gang

FinnJanuary 14, 2025

LONDON — Authorities in the United Kingdom were outwitted once again this week, as to avoid prosecution on charges of…

As White House Gig Wraps Up, Karine Jean-Pierre Prepares To Head Back To Old Job At Men’s Wearhouse
Babylon Bee

As White House Gig Wraps Up, Karine Jean-Pierre Prepares To Head Back To Old Job At Men’s Wearhouse

FinnJanuary 14, 2025

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre will be exiting politics for good at the end of Biden’s presidential term,…

Last 100 Million Mexican Citizens Hurriedly Enter U.S. During Biden’s Final Week In Office
Babylon Bee

Last 100 Million Mexican Citizens Hurriedly Enter U.S. During Biden’s Final Week In Office

FinnJanuary 14, 2025

U.S. — A final group of 100 million Mexican citizens are taking advantage of Biden’s last week in office by…

Democrats Question Pete Hegseth’s Qualifications After Learning He’s Never Once Worn A Dress
Babylon Bee

Democrats Question Pete Hegseth’s Qualifications After Learning He’s Never Once Worn A Dress

FinnJanuary 14, 2025

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Democrat members of the Armed Services Committee questioned nominee Pete Hegseth’s qualifications to serve as Secretary of…

Miracle: Worship Leader Plays Hymn As It Was Written
Babylon Bee

Miracle: Worship Leader Plays Hymn As It Was Written

FinnJanuary 13, 2025

TULSA, OK — Congregants at a local church were witnesses to what many people described as a divine act as…

Biden Desperately Searches For Anything Else He Can Screw Up In The Next 6 Days
Babylon Bee

Biden Desperately Searches For Anything Else He Can Screw Up In The Next 6 Days

FinnJanuary 13, 2025

WASHINGTON, D.C. — As he enters his last week as Commander in Chief of the United States, President Joe Biden…

Republican Hipster Says He Wanted To Annex Greenland Way Before Trump Made It Mainstream
Babylon Bee

Republican Hipster Says He Wanted To Annex Greenland Way Before Trump Made It Mainstream

FinnJanuary 13, 2025

AUSTIN, TN — After news broke that the president-elect was serious about negotiating to purchase the Danish-controlled island in the…

California Police Arrest Arsonist For Using Gas Blowtorch Instead Of Electric Blowtorch
Babylon Bee

California Police Arrest Arsonist For Using Gas Blowtorch Instead Of Electric Blowtorch

FinnJanuary 13, 2025

LOS ANGELES, CA — As the devastation spread and the death toll continued to rise with firefighters working tirelessly to…

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