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Category: Babylon Bee

Hungover Mark Cuban Wakes Up Hoping He Didn’t Make Any Dumb Basketball Trades Last Night
Babylon Bee

Hungover Mark Cuban Wakes Up Hoping He Didn’t Make Any Dumb Basketball Trades Last Night

FinnFebruary 2, 2025

DALLAS, TX — Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban woke up this morning incredibly hungover and hoping he didn’t do anything…

Wife Helpfully Explains To Husband What He Meant By What He Said
Babylon Bee

Wife Helpfully Explains To Husband What He Meant By What He Said

FinnFebruary 2, 2025

MANHATTAN, KS — Local wife Denise Thompson graciously sat down with her husband Mike to explain what he actually meant…

Democrats Unveil Their Top 10 Heroes Of Black History Month
Babylon Bee

Democrats Unveil Their Top 10 Heroes Of Black History Month

FinnFebruary 1, 2025

In honor of Black History Month, the Democratic Party has announced the authoritative list of its top ten black heroes.…

Ugh: Local Karen Being A Real Margaret
Babylon Bee

Ugh: Local Karen Being A Real Margaret

FinnFebruary 1, 2025

ROME, GA — In a brutal takedown, a local, well-known “Karen” was accused today of being a “real Margaret.”   Read…

Pope Francis Demands God Remove Walls Surrounding Heaven
Babylon Bee

Pope Francis Demands God Remove Walls Surrounding Heaven

FinnFebruary 1, 2025

VATICAN CITY — Pope Francis issued an official statement today demanding that God remove the walls and gates that surround…

10 Biblical Disasters That Were Probably Caused By DEI
Babylon Bee

10 Biblical Disasters That Were Probably Caused By DEI

FinnJanuary 31, 2025

Did you know that almost everything bad that ever happened in the Bible was likely caused by DEI? That’s right.…

Adam Seen Wearing ‘THERE IS ONLY ONE GENDER’ Shirt In Garden Of Eden
Babylon Bee

Adam Seen Wearing ‘THERE IS ONLY ONE GENDER’ Shirt In Garden Of Eden

FinnJanuary 31, 2025

EDEN — According to reports, tensions escalated in the Garden this week after Adam, the world’s only man, was seen…

Total Loser Still Has One Of Those Cars That Starts With A Key
Babylon Bee

Total Loser Still Has One Of Those Cars That Starts With A Key

FinnJanuary 31, 2025

SAINT PAUL, MN — The community expressed disdain after one local loser was found to still have one of those…

Preliminary Report Confirms Tragedy Was The Fault Of Whichever Political Party You Don’t Like
Babylon Bee

Preliminary Report Confirms Tragedy Was The Fault Of Whichever Political Party You Don’t Like

FinnJanuary 31, 2025

U.S. — With investigators still looking into the cause of the latest deadly catastrophe, a preliminary report confirmed that the…

Man Who Forgot To Pray For Friend Hides Shame As Friend Thanks Him For His Prayers
Babylon Bee

Man Who Forgot To Pray For Friend Hides Shame As Friend Thanks Him For His Prayers

FinnJanuary 30, 2025

TUPELO, MS — A local Christian man was forced to retreat to his home and cower in shame after he…

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