Reminder: American Women Have Until January 20th To Find A Man To Get Them Pregnant Or One Will Be Selected For Them
ATTENTION: American women have until noon on the 20th of January, in the Year of our Lord 2025, to find…
Category: Babylon Bee
Biden Honors Kamala Harris With Presidential Medal Of Participation
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a touching display today, President Biden awarded Vice President Kamala Harris the Presidential Medal of Participation.…
Allstate CEO Explains If Americans Were Nicer, Islamists Wouldn’t Have To Murder Them
U.S. — Allstate CEO Thomas Wilson explained to viewers across the nation that if Americans would act nicer, Islamic terrorists…
Biden Awards Presidential Medal Of Freedom To Skeletor
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a surprise move, President Joe Biden awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom to Skeletor, longtime archnemesis…
Batman Trades In Batmobile For Cybertruck
GOTHAM CITY — Batman has officially traded in the Batmobile for a Tesla Cybertruck. Read MoreBabylon Bee
US Army To Add ‘Do You Intend To Carry Out a Massive Terrorist Attack’ To Application Form
U.S. — In an effort to address recent violence, the United States Army has decided to begin asking applicants if…
Lost VeggieTales Episode Discovered Where David Brings King Saul 200 Severed Pickle Tips
TUSTIN, CA — A previously lost episode of the beloved children’s classic VeggieTales has surfaced that depicts a young Dave,…
Presbyterian Church To Begin Tasing Anyone Who Raises Hands During Worship
FORKSVILLE, PA — As part of a new hardline stance being taken to start the new year, a local Presbyterian…
Bad Sign: Sushi Bar Run By White Dude
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — Looking for authentic sushi at a reasonable price? Look elsewhere. Bushido Sushi may look the part,…
FBI Baffled Terrorist Attack Occurred As They Imprisoned All Jan 6 Attendees
U.S. — As the investigations continued into the deadly events of the new year, FBI agents were reportedly baffled that…