Health Tip: Instead Of A Glossy Bag Of Potato Chips, Go For The Matte Bag With A Picture Of A Farmhouse
U.S.A — The FDA released updated health advice this week, including guidance around what kind of potato chips are the…
Category: Babylon Bee
Trump Institutes Military Draft For Everyone With Ukraine Flag In Their Facebook Profile
WASHINGTON, DC — President Donald Trump announced this week he will be instituting a mandatory military draft for any American…
Movie You’ve Never Heard Of Wins Best Picture
HOLLYWOOD, CA — For the tenth year in a row, a movie you’ve never heard of won the award for…
Academy Announces New Oscar Award For ‘Most Likely To Be On Epstein List’
LOS ANGELES, CA — The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has added a new category for 2025, awarding…
8 Demands Trump Has Made Before Zelensky Can Return
After flying to D.C. to purportedly sign a mineral rights deal, Ukrainian President Volodomyr Zelensky wound up being kicked out…
Church Bylaws State All Sunday School Classes Must Have One Annoying Guy Who Constantly Starts Off Topic Arguments
BRYAN, TX — First Baptist Church of Bryan officially added to their bylaws that all adult Sunday School classes are…
Insult To Injury: Trump Changes Netflix Password And Now Zelensky Has To Get His Own Account
WASHINGTON, D.C. — On top of losing an economic deal and getting berated publicly on television, President Zelensky arrived at…
Man Who Works Two Jobs During The Week Preparing Himself For Chaotic Stressful Weekend With Wife And Kids
GASTONIA, NC — The quest to survive until Monday morning commenced Friday afternoon, as a local husband and father who…
Trump Hangs Up Sign In White House ‘You Must Be This Tall To Receive Foreign Aid’
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following an explosive meeting at the White House with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy, President Donald Trump sought…
Zelensky Tries Bold New Strategy Of Insulting The People He’s Begging For Money From
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In an unusual tactic rarely seen in high-level negotiations, Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky decided to try insulting…