China Retaliates Against Tariffs By Putting Worse Fortunes Into Cookies
BEIJING — As part of an escalating global trade war, the Chinese government announced plans to retaliate against President Donald…
Category: Babylon Bee
Worship Team Drummer Makes Up For Lack Of Skill With Abundance Of Volme
BOULDER, CO — Local church drummer Sam Huddleston continues to make up for his stark lack of talent by playing…
Financial Advisor Announces It’s Time To Panic, Urges Clients To Make Hasty, Emotional Decisions
ANNAPOLIS, MD — Local financial advisor Rick Rosas announced that now was the time for utter panic and urged his…
WNBA Legend Retires With Six Career Points
WASHINGTON, D.C. — WNBA legend Elena Delle Donne announced her retirement yesterday, the former MVP leaving after a decade-long career…
Trump Assures Pain From Tariffs Should Settle Down By His Third Term
WASHINGTON, D.C. — With the nation anxious about the ramifications of widespread tariffs, President Trump assured Americans that everything would…
Man Gives Up Having Money In His 401k For Lent
SIOUX FALLS, SD — Local man Thomas Woodward suddenly ramped up his Lenten observance this past week, completely giving up…
7 Facts To Comfort You While Watching The Market Crash
Watching your retirement account tumble as $10 trillion in market value evaporates can be a stressful experience. Here are seven…
Church Unsure Why Men Are Struggling Spiritually In Spite Of Quarterly Pancake Breakfast
BEND, OR — The leaders of River of Life Church were bewildered that the congregation’s men appeared to be struggling…
‘Is It Too Late To Ask What A Tariff Is?’ Trump Whispers To JD Vance
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following another round of aggressive media questions about his reasoning behind implementing sweeping tariffs on foreign goods,…
Pastor Rescinds Call To ‘Make A Joyful Noise’ After Hearing Tammy
TULSA, OK — Last Sunday morning’s service at Church of the Promise was briefly disrupted when Pastor John Weber unexpectedly…