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Category: Babylon Bee

Russia Says It Will Agree To Ceasefire As Soon As It’s Done Conquering Ukraine
Babylon Bee

Russia Says It Will Agree To Ceasefire As Soon As It’s Done Conquering Ukraine

FinnMarch 14, 2025

MOSCOW — In an encouraging development for the seemingly deadlocked negotiations, Russia now says that it would agree to a…

Dad Issues Kids Night Vision Goggles So Family Never Has To Turn On A Light Again
Babylon Bee

Dad Issues Kids Night Vision Goggles So Family Never Has To Turn On A Light Again

FinnMarch 14, 2025

HOULTON, ME — Local man Chris Porter stumbled upon an incredible life hack to reduce his family’s electric bill after…

Studies Show Majority Of People Who Say They Don’t Want Kids Have Never Flown A Toddler Around In A Laundry Basket While Making Rocket Ship Sounds
Babylon Bee

Studies Show Majority Of People Who Say They Don’t Want Kids Have Never Flown A Toddler Around In A Laundry Basket While Making Rocket Ship Sounds

FinnMarch 14, 2025

CINCINNATI, OH — An eye-opening new study has shown that the majority of people who say they don’t want to…

In Effort To Boost Ticket Sales, Disney Edits Rachel Zegler Out Of ‘Snow White’
Babylon Bee

In Effort To Boost Ticket Sales, Disney Edits Rachel Zegler Out Of ‘Snow White’

FinnMarch 13, 2025

BURBANK, CA — In an effort to boost ticket sales for what it suspected could be a disappointing opening, Disney…

Theologians Agree That Antichrist Will Most Likely Be A Podcaster
Babylon Bee

Theologians Agree That Antichrist Will Most Likely Be A Podcaster

FinnMarch 13, 2025

CHICAGO, IL — Following extensive study, a group of prominent theologians agreed that the Antichrist would most likely be a…

Track & Field Runner Accidentally Trips, Punches, Attacks Rival With A Sword
Babylon Bee

Track & Field Runner Accidentally Trips, Punches, Attacks Rival With A Sword

FinnMarch 13, 2025

LYNCHBURG, VA — This week’s championship 4×200-meter relay event ended in disaster when a runner accidentally, tripped, punched, and attacked…

Man Leading Bible Study Taken Up Into Heaven After Dropping Greek Word
Babylon Bee

Man Leading Bible Study Taken Up Into Heaven After Dropping Greek Word

FinnMarch 13, 2025

BLUE SPRINGS, MO — Members of a church small group were witness to a miraculous event this week, as a…

Man Rents Steamroller To Squeeze One Last Usable Amount Of Toothpaste From Tube
Babylon Bee

Man Rents Steamroller To Squeeze One Last Usable Amount Of Toothpaste From Tube

FinnMarch 13, 2025

SEWARD, NE — A local man set an impressive new standard for frugality this week by renting a professional-grade steamroller…

Checkmate: Trump Hits Canada With Tariff Of Double Infinity Plus One
Babylon Bee

Checkmate: Trump Hits Canada With Tariff Of Double Infinity Plus One

FinnMarch 12, 2025

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Canada is reeling after Trump upped the ante in the trade war by slapping America’s northern neighbor…

Life Hack: Volunteer For Parking Lot Ministry And You’ll Never Have To Hear Another Sermon For The Rest Of Your Days
Babylon Bee

Life Hack: Volunteer For Parking Lot Ministry And You’ll Never Have To Hear Another Sermon For The Rest Of Your Days

FinnMarch 12, 2025

Check out this sweet life hack, my church brethren! Or… should I say “faith hack?” Yes, it’s true. If you…

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