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Category: Babylon Bee

CIA Files Reveal JFK Was Killed By Seed Oils
Babylon Bee

CIA Files Reveal JFK Was Killed By Seed Oils

FinnMarch 18, 2025

U.S. — In a long-awaited declassification of government documents related to one of the most monumental events in American history,…

Disney Wondering If It’s Too Late To Replace Rachel Zegler With Kevin Spacey
Babylon Bee

Disney Wondering If It’s Too Late To Replace Rachel Zegler With Kevin Spacey

FinnMarch 18, 2025

U.S. — Walt Disney Studios is running damage control ahead of its live-action remake of Snow White and the Seven…

Bad Timing? Tesla Announces New Cybertruck Model ‘The Fuhrer’
Babylon Bee

Bad Timing? Tesla Announces New Cybertruck Model ‘The Fuhrer’

FinnMarch 17, 2025

AUSTIN, TX — Stock in Tesla dropped this week following the announcement of a new vehicle named The Fuhrer, an…

Trump Draws Names Of Countries From Hat To Determine Next Tariff
Babylon Bee

Trump Draws Names Of Countries From Hat To Determine Next Tariff

FinnMarch 17, 2025

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The media were in attendance Monday morning to witness President Trump draw the name of a country…

Ghost Of Saint Patrick Returns To Drive Rosie O’Donnell Out Of Ireland
Babylon Bee

Ghost Of Saint Patrick Returns To Drive Rosie O’Donnell Out Of Ireland

FinnMarch 17, 2025

DUBLIN — Longtime local residents were shocked and amazed this morning, as the ghost of the long-dead Saint Patrick spontaneously…

RFK Jr. Apprehends Suspects Dealing Dangerous Sugars And Seed Oils
Babylon Bee

RFK Jr. Apprehends Suspects Dealing Dangerous Sugars And Seed Oils

FinnMarch 17, 2025

CHICAGO — A daring raid overseen by Health and Human Services Secretary RFK Jr has led to the apprehension of…

Federal Judge Orders Astronauts Be Returned To Space Station
Babylon Bee

Federal Judge Orders Astronauts Be Returned To Space Station

FinnMarch 17, 2025

U.S. — A district judge has issued a ruling saying Trump lacked the Constitutional authority to pick up two astronauts…

Mormon Wife Designs Future Planet On Pinterest
Babylon Bee

Mormon Wife Designs Future Planet On Pinterest

FinnMarch 16, 2025

BOISE, ID — Local Mormon wife and mother of two Hadleigh Christensen spent a lazy Sunday afternoon using Pinterest to…

Single Woman Constantly Stressed With No Man Around To Tell Her To Relax
Babylon Bee

Single Woman Constantly Stressed With No Man Around To Tell Her To Relax

FinnMarch 15, 2025

VIRGINIA BEACH, VA — Local single woman Michelle Denton continues to be perpetually stressed out as she sadly has no…

Biblical Scholars Now Believe Jesus Will Return Again 13 Days After Second Coming To Pick Up Orthodox Believers
Babylon Bee

Biblical Scholars Now Believe Jesus Will Return Again 13 Days After Second Coming To Pick Up Orthodox Believers

FinnMarch 15, 2025

U.S. — After years of examining the texts about the second coming of Christ, Bible scholars now believe that Jesus…

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