Ignorant Boomer Tries To Pay With Cash
MILWAUKEE, WI — Recent security camera footage of Martha Holmes shows that the 73-year-old Wisconsin native ignorantly attempted to use…
Category: Babylon Bee
13 Most Surprising Things In The New Spending Bill
Ostensibly designed to merely keep the government open until March, suspicions arose that the new spending bill may have a…
Congress Warns Failure To Pass Spending Bill Might Delay Destruction Of The Country
WASHINGTON, D.C. — With time running short, Congress has warned that failure to pass a massive spending bill could result…
7 Ways ‘Die Hard’ Points Us To Jesus
It’s only a week until Christmas, which means two things — remembering the wonder of God sending Jesus into the…
Newborn Starting To Suspect There’s No Milk In This Pacifier
CHEYENNE, WY — Local newborn Sebastian Weaver III is starting to suspect this blue nipple he’s been furiously sucking on…
RFK Jr. Advises Children To Leave Out 8 Strips of Bacon And A Bowl of Beef Tallow For Santa This Year
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Robert F. Kennedy Jr. continued his campaign to make America healthy again by advising kids to leave…
FBI Assures Nation Drones Just U.S. Government Spying On Its Own Citizens
U.S. — FBI Director Christopher Wray sought to reassure Americans that the drones being spotted over New Jersey were simply…
Newly Discovered Scroll Reveals Fourth Wise Man Who Brought Baby Jesus A Priceless Lego Millennium Falcon
JERUSALEM — A tale retold at Christmastime for thousands of years was shaken up this week, as a newly discovered…
12 Democrats Boycotting Trump’s Inauguration
With plenty of hard feelings still lingering after Trump’s landslide election victory, more and more prominent Democrats have publicly declared…
Too Far? Biden Pardons All Bicyclists
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Biden administration faced its fiercest wave of criticism yet with even the president’s most ardent supporters…