In Powerful Act Of Protest, Liberals Begin Adding Algae To Drinking Water
U.S. — In a powerful showing of solidarity with the algae discoloring the newly-renovated Reflecting Pool, liberals across the…
Category: Babylon Bee
Al-Qaeda Wins New York Primary
NEW YORK, NY — Almost 25 years after it successfully flew two jetliners into the Twin Towers, killing thousands…
To Raise Stakes, U.S. Army Given One Pick In Each Round Of NBA Draft
NEW YORK, NY — Seeking a way to spice things up after decades of the same draft format and…
Israelite Keeping Quiet That He Doesn’t Particularly Care For Milk Or Honey
MOUNT SINAI — In light of continued encouragement that the Israelites would enter a land “flowing with milk and…
Time Traveler From Year 3247 Warns They’re Still Making ‘Toy Story’ Movies
NEW YORK, NY — Citizens of the year 2026 were left confused on Tuesday after a rift in the…
Gas Pump Now Asks If You Want Car Wash, Receipt, Rewards, And If You Know The Airspeed Velocity Of An Unladen Swallow
U.S. — Before allowing customers to fill up with gas, pumps will now ask about a potential car wash,…
‘Supergirl’ To Show That Girls Can Be Just As Good As Boys At Everything Except Box Office
U.S. — When Supergirl releases in theaters on June 26, executives from Warner Bros. Pictures expressed confidence that the…
‘What A Good Little Kitty You Are,’ Owner Says To Cat Who Is Currently Plotting Her Violent Death
TULSA, OK — Local cat owner Melissa Darst patted and praised her kitty, Bella, briefly interrupting Bella’s plotting of…
Nation’s Dumpster Fires Distance Themselves From Boston Red Sox
U.S. — The fires currently burning inside the nation’s dumpsters spoke out publicly on Tuesday to condemn their being…
Uh Oh! A Monkey Stole The Pope Hat And Now He’s Infallible
VATICAN CITY — In disastrous news for the Catholic Church, a mischievous little monkey stole Pope Leo’s hat and…