To Save Time, Iran Appoints Supreme Leader Who Is Already Dead
TEHRAN — Following the death of Ayatollah Ali Khamenei and a significant portion of the nation’s leadership, the Assembly…
Category: Babylon Bee
Conservatives Express Concern Over Foreign Wars And OOHHH DANG OUR SUBMARINE JUST BLEW UP A BOAT HECK YEAH WE ARE SO BACK
U.S. — Conservatives across the country have expressed concern over the United States becoming entangled in another foreign war…
Sad: Iran’s ‘Assembly Of Experts’ Forgets To Include Expert On Not Getting Blown Up
TEHRAN — In a tragic oversight, Iran’s “Assembly of Experts” forgot to include an expert in not dying in…
Pentecostal Wins At Scrabble Again By Spelling All Words In Tongues
FALLON, NV — Local Pentecostal Christian Glenn Fuller reportedly beat all his friends at Scrabble yet again thanks to…
New Reusable Water Bottle Makes You Sign In To Google
U.S. — According to sources, a new reusable water bottle now requires the user to sign into their Google…
Economists Announce Global Economic System Depends Entirely On Like Maybe Two Guys At Nvidia Who Understand How Computers Work
U.S. — American economists warned the public on Tuesday that the entire global economic system depends entirely on “like…
Biden Asks Why Trump Didn’t Just Bomb Ayatollah In the Leg
DOVER, DE — In the wake of the highly successful decapitation of Iran’s tyrannical dictatorship, former American president Joe…
‘Soon…,’ Whispers Dad To Dormant Lawnmower In Garage
LEE’S SUMMIT, MO — The dreams of spring were in the air during last weekend, as one local suburban…
Here’s How Major News Outlets Are Reporting The Death Of The Ayatollah
Fox News: Trump Strikes Iran In ‘Perfectly Executed’ Military Operation Fox News: Trump Strikes Iran In ‘Perfectly Executed’ Military…
Man Goes Back In Time To Mesmerize Ancients With Futuristic Technology Of Gushers
EGYPT — Newly unearthed records appear to indicate a man claiming to be from the future traveled to ancient…