Church Introduces Breakaway Stained Glass Windows For Introverts To Use During Sharing Of The Peace
SPRINGFIELD, MO — St. Luke’s Lutheran Church of Springfield updated all of its sanctuary’s stained-glass windows with “breakaway glass”…
Category: Babylon Bee
11 Most Effective Punishments For Parents To Use On Their Gen Alpha Kids
Every generation is unique, and parents of Gen Alpha kids are quickly learning that the world has changed quite…
WNBA Subreddit Bans Any Mention Of ‘Women’
U.S. — The online Reddit community of WNBA fans announced that it had officially banned any and all mention…
New ‘X-Men’ Movie Expected To Flop As They Went Woke And Made Storm Black
U.S. — Entertainment industry insiders predicted that the upcoming Marvel Studios X-Men reboot would flop after the producers chose…
Mormon Teen Takeover Leaves Three New Houses Built For Homeless
PROVO, UT — A mob of local Mormon teenagers engaging in the popular internet trend of staging a “takeover”…
Faith In Humanity Instantly Restored By Kids’ Lemonade Stand
FRISCO, TX — Local woman Samantha Johnson’s faith in humanity was instantly restored this afternoon after she drove up…
Oh, Crap: Government Threatens To Fix Something
U.S. — Panic spread across the nation today after the federal government threatened to fix something. Read More FinnFinn…
‘C’ From ‘Coexist’ Sticker Arrested For Running Over Other Letters With A Truck
NEW YORK, NY — A portion of downtown New York was closed on Friday after the “C” from the…
After Observing Adam For Two Minutes, God Decides Man’s Going To Need A Helper
EDEN — According to Heavenly sources, a final decision was made to provide a helper suitable for Adam after…
Kentucky Derby Convenes Committee To Determine What Is A Horse
LOUISVILLE, KY — Churchill Downs Inc. (CDI), which manages the annual Kentucky Derby race, formed a committee this week…