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Category: Babylon Bee

Babylon Bee

Journalists Shocked To Be Laid Off From Obsolete Media Outlet That Loses $100 Million Annually

FinnFebruary 6, 2026

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — Over 300 “journalists” were reportedly caught totally off guard this week when an obsolete media outlet…

Babylon Bee

Winter Olympics To Protest Trump’s Immigration Policies By Removing Ice From Skating Rinks

FinnFebruary 5, 2026

    MILAN — The most prestigious athletic event on the world stage issued a clear political statement this week, as…

Babylon Bee

Man Worried He May Go His Entire Life Without Mastering The Ancient Art Of Nunchaku

FinnFebruary 5, 2026

    LITTLE ROCK, AK — As Darren Phillips pulled himself out of bed on Thursday morning, it became apparent to…

Babylon Bee

Frank From Accounting In Epstein Files For Some Reason

FinnFebruary 5, 2026

    DUBUQUE, IA — Employees at Midwest Windows Inc. were reportedly uncomfortable to learn that Frank from accounting was mentioned…

Babylon Bee

To Make Games Fair, MLB Will Now Have Managers Line Everyone Up And Pick Teams Before Each Game

FinnFebruary 5, 2026

    NEW YORK, NY. — As teams and fans alike gear up for the start of a new baseball season,…

Babylon Bee

Politicians Hoping National Prayer Breakfast Wraps Up In Time For Coke Orgy Lunch

FinnFebruary 5, 2026

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — As lawmakers and other notable figures gathered once again for the annual solemn occasion to petition…

Babylon Bee

10 Ways To Come Out As A Conservative To Your Liberal Parents

FinnFebruary 4, 2026

    Our current society can have trouble showing acceptance — especially to conservatives. If you’re a young conservative who has…

Babylon Bee

‘The Injuns Are A-Comin!’ Cries Billie Eilish Loading Musket To Defend Home From Tribe Of Redskins

FinnFebruary 4, 2026

    LOS ANGELES, CA — According to sources, American singer-songwriter Billie Eilish successfully defended her land from members of the…

Babylon Bee

Minecraft Introduces Peaceful Protesters And OH NO THEY’VE BURNED DOWN THE VILLAGE

FinnFebruary 4, 2026

    REDMOND, WA — Peaceful social justice leaders have come to the world of Minecraft to educate gamers about peaceful…

Babylon Bee

‘UNO: Even More Brutal Edition’ Comes With Card That SWATs Your Family Members And Has Them Arrested On False Charges

FinnFebruary 4, 2026

    U.S. — Mattel has announced the release of “Uno: Even More Brutal Edition” which will include cards that SWAT…

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