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Category: Babylon Bee

Babylon Bee

Democrats Warn Of Chilling Effect Voter ID Will Have On Rigged Elections

FinnJanuary 9, 2026

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a bold defense of democracy, Democrats warned Americans about the chilling effect voter ID laws…

Babylon Bee

Somalis Demand Americans Stop Judging Them By The Content Of Their Character

FinnJanuary 9, 2026

    MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Representatives of the Somali community issued a statement demanding that Americans stop judging them by the…

Babylon Bee

Democrats Say Things Would Be Much Safer If Law Enforcement Would Just Stop Trying To Enforce The Law

FinnJanuary 9, 2026

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following recent ICE-related shootings, Democrat leaders stepped forward to remind the nation that everything would be…

Babylon Bee

Anthropologists Discover Uncontacted Tribe In Remote Area Of IKEA

FinnJanuary 8, 2026

    COSTA MESA, CA — A team of anthropologists hard at work completing a field study announced that they had…

Babylon Bee

With Maduro In Custody, Here Are 7 Other People Trump Should Arrest Immediately

FinnJanuary 8, 2026

    President Donald Trump ordered the arrest of Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro, toppling a brutal totalitarian regime. But he’s only…

Babylon Bee

Tim Walz Calls In Somali Military To Fight Against ICE

FinnJanuary 8, 2026

    MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Governor Tim Walz took decisive action to back up his aggressive rhetoric against federal immigration operations…

Babylon Bee

Teenager Confused How Parents Still Don’t Know Everything When It Only Took Him 16 Years

FinnJanuary 8, 2026

    SALT LAKE CITY, UT — Local teen Ethan Gardener expressed confusion this week over how he had managed to…

Babylon Bee

Democrats Demand To Know Why ICE Agents Can’t Just Shoot Cars In The Leg

FinnJanuary 8, 2026

    MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Democrats took to social media following the deadly ICE shooting in Minneapolis to demand to know…

Babylon Bee

Democrats Once Again Threaten Civil War To Stop Republicans From Taking Away Their Slave Laborers

FinnJanuary 7, 2026

    MINNEAPOLIS, MN — For the second time in American history, Democrats are threatening civil war if Republicans do not…

Babylon Bee

8 Perfect New Jobs For Tim Walz

FinnJanuary 7, 2026

    With the announcement that he is withdrawing from the Minnesota governor’s race, Tim Walz is on the hunt for…

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