Confirmed: In His Final Days, Charlie Kirk Came To Agree With Whatever You Believe
U.S. — Following an extensive study that involved gathering information from all internet users, influencers, and podcasters, it has…
Category: Babylon Bee
California Abandons $250 Billion Study On Why It Has So Many Unfinished Projects
SACRAMENTO, CA — California’s $250 billion study looking into why it has so many unfinished projects was abandoned while…
Theologians Believe Every Meal In Heaven Is Ice Cream In A Miniature Baseball Helmet
NOTRE DAME, IN — After a thought-provoking roundtable discussion, theologians at the University of Notre Dame concluded that every…
Newsom Allocates $900 Million For Black Bear Porta-Potties
SACRAMENTO, CA — Governor Gavin Newsom announced the signing of an executive order that allocates over $900 million of…
Gavin Newsom’s 10 Biggest Accomplishments
California owes a lot to Governor Gavin Newsom. So much, in fact, that it’s hard to narrow down his…
Tucker Carlson Loses On ‘Wheel Of Fortune’ After Guessing ‘Israel’ On Every Puzzle
LOS ANGELES, CA — Podcaster Tucker Carlson appeared as a guest on the popular game show Wheel of Fortune…
MLB Introduces Popular New Rule Where Umps Who Get More Than 3 Calls Overturned Are Jettisoned Into The Sun
U.S. — Ahead of Opening Day next week, Major League Baseball announced a new permanent rule where umpires who…
California Celebrates Installation Of Single L.A. Trash Can That Cost $400 Billion And Took 18 Years To Build
LOS ANGELES, CA — California state and city officials gathered with residents on Thursday to celebrate the opening of…
Kevin The Janitor Now Most Senior Military Official Left In Iran
TEHRAN — Following the latest round of U.S. and Israeli airstrikes in the country, Kevin, the janitor at the…
8 Coolest Perks Of Becoming The New Ayatollah
The hottest job on the market right now is being the Iranian Ayatollah, but why is everyone suddenly buzzing…