Liberal Women Frantically Refreshing Instagram To See What They Should Be Mad About Next
U.S. — Liberal women across the U.S. spent the day feverishly refreshing their Instagram feed to see what they…
Category: Babylon Bee
‘Just Complete This 50 Page Questionnaire,’ Says Hospital Clerk To Man With Axe Embedded In Skull
TOPEKA, KS — A kindly hospital clerk asked local man Jonathan Arnold to please fill out the brief 50-page…
Republicans Warn Passing Voter ID Law Could Ruin Plan To Hand Congress To Democrats In November
WASHINGTON, D.C. — With the 2026 midterm elections on the horizon amid increasing strife over problems facing the nation,…
ICE Getting So Scary That Illegal Immigrants Thinking Of Leaving U.S.
U.S. — Immigration and Customs Enforcement has become so scary that many illegal immigrants are reportedly considering leaving the…
Foul-Smelling Substance Used In Spray Attack On Ilhan Omar Identified As Somali Food
MINNEAPOLIS, MN — The malodorous substance sprayed on Representative Ilhan Omar at a town hall meeting has been identified…
Man Ready To Take On The World After Sliding Favorite Pocket Knife Into Jeans Pocket
BOISE, ID — Though events taking place around him threatened to envelop him in uncertainty and stress, a local…
Too Cold To Start Civil War Right Now, Nation Agrees
U.S. — The bitterly divided nation has finally agreed on one thing: it is just way too cold to…
Time To Move To A Red State? Know The Signs
Things in America are getting pretty dicey these days. So dicey, in fact, that people in blue states are…
Nation Starting To Wonder If People Who Spend Life Singing Songs To Toddlers On YouTube Might Not Be All There Mentally
U.S. — Amid social and political tensions reaching new highs with violent clashes between government law enforcement and protesters,…
Quality Of Musicals Craters As Number Of Gay Americans Decreases
NEW YORK CITY, NY — Researchers note a strong correlation between the decline in the quality of musicals and…