Man Regrets Spending 15 Minutes Reading Bible This Morning
JACKSONVILLE, FL — Local man Trevor Riggs announced that he regretted spending 15 minutes reading the Bible this morning.…
Category: Babylon Bee
Amtrak Informs Small Town Girl Living In A Lonely World That They Don’t Actually Have A Midnight Train Going Anywhere
U.S. — According to reports, a small town girl living in a lonely world was forced to cancel her…
Smoke Alarm Patiently Waits Until 3 A.M. To Announce Low Battery
MACON, GA — A smoke alarm living in the house of a local family waited patiently until all the…
7 Devastating Effects Of Ending Race-Based Gerrymandering
With yesterday’s ruling, the United States Supreme Court officially declared it illegal to redraw voting districts based on the…
Mayor Mamdnai Declares Crisis Of Having Run Out Of Other People’s Money
NEW YORK, NY — Mayor Zohran Mamdani declared an official budget crisis in the city after having completely run…
After Seeing Ben Sasse’s Incredible Faith And Character, Nation Understands Why He Had To Leave Politics
UNITED STATES — After seeing Ben Sasse’s incredible faith in God and upstanding moral character, the nation now understands…
Dad Splits Commute Time Between Worshipping The Lord Jesus Christ And Cursing Out Bad Drivers
LEE’S SUMMIT, MO — Traveling to and from work followed its standard pattern this morning, as a local dad…
‘Is It Too Late To Ask Who Gerry Mander Is?’ KBJ Whispers To Clarence Thomas
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Shortly before the United States Supreme Court issued its ruling on Louisiana’s proposed redrawing of its…
Poll Shows Majority Of Democrats Believe Lincoln Assassination Staged
U.S. — The growing rift between the political right and left in the country became even more evident this…
In Blow To Democrats, SCOTUS Rules They Have To Stop Being Racist
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a devastating setback to the Democratic Party, the United States Supreme Court ruled today that…