Pam Bondi Promises To Prosecute Minnesota Rioters As Soon As She Finishes Releasing All Those Epstein Files
WASHINGTON, D.C. — With the American public demanding action be taken by the government in response to aggressive and…
Category: Babylon Bee
Antifa Protests Violence By Viciously Beating Bystanders
MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Anitfa has flooded the streets of Minneapolis to protest against violence by viciously beating innocent bystanders.…
7 Things To Say When Called On In Bible Class When You Weren’t Paying Attention
You were deeply lost in a daydream right in the middle of Bible class when – oh no! The…
Fellow Pop-Tarts Gather To Bow Down Before Preeminent Brown Sugar Pop-Tarts
BROKEN BOW, OK — In a beautiful scene, fellow Pop-Tarts gathered on a kitchen table this morning to bow…
Trump Challenges Danish Prime Minister To Ping Pong Match, Winner Gets Greenland
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump has officially challenged Danish Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen to a ping pong match, winner…
Trump Holds Oval Office Summit With Prominent Muslim Leader
WASHINGTON, D.C — According to sources, President Donald Trump met with a prominent Muslim leader in the Oval Office…
To Save Time, Journalists Now Only Reporting On Any Free Agents The Dodgers Did Not Sign
U.S. — To improve efficiency with their time management, sports journalists covering Major League Baseball announced that they would…
9 Easy Ways To Avoid Getting Attacked By Law Enforcement
Civilians having encounters with law enforcement have been all over the news lately, leading some people to wonder what…
Kathleen Kennedy Sad To Leave Lucasfilm Before She Got The Chance To Make A Trilogy About Rey’s First Period
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — Kathleen Kennedy was reportedly very sad to leave Lucasfilm before she had the chance to…
Trump Delays Iran Attack Until Consulting With Whoopi Goldberg
WASHINGTON, D.C. — According to an anonymous White House source, a U.S. military strike on Iran had been delayed…