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Category: Babylon Bee

Nigerian President Promises To End Genocide If Trump Sends Upfront Fee Of $5,000 In Amazon Gift Cards
Babylon Bee

Nigerian President Promises To End Genocide If Trump Sends Upfront Fee Of $5,000 In Amazon Gift Cards

FinnNovember 3, 2025November 3, 2025

    WASHINGTON, DC — Donald Trump received an email from the President of Nigeria with a commitment to end the…

Government Once Again Casts Nation Into 4:30 P.M. Darkness
Babylon Bee

Government Once Again Casts Nation Into 4:30 P.M. Darkness

FinnNovember 3, 2025November 3, 2025

    U.S. — According to sources, the hidden upper echelon embedded in the United States government once again reveled in…

Canada Orders Toronto Blue Jays Players Euthanized
Babylon Bee

Canada Orders Toronto Blue Jays Players Euthanized

FinnNovember 3, 2025November 3, 2025

    TORONTO — Following the team’s devastating loss to the Los Angeles Dodgers in Game 7 of the 2025 World…

Babylon Bee

Dodgers Purchase 2nd World Series Victory

FinnNovember 2, 2025

    TORONTO — One of the largest and riskiest investments paid off late Saturday night, as the Los Angeles Dodgers…

Babylon Bee

Trump Negotiates Historic Peace Deal Between Contemporary Service, Traditional Service

FinnOctober 31, 2025

    U.S. — Mere weeks after bringing about a much-heralded ceasefire between Israel and Hamas, President Donald Trump pulled off…

Prodigal Son Returns After SNAP Benefits Expire
Babylon Bee

Prodigal Son Returns After SNAP Benefits Expire

FinnOctober 31, 2025October 31, 2025

    GALILEE — A local family rejoiced after a wayward son returned in repentance to his father, though subsequent reports…

Idiot Tries To Rob Bank In Gotham City, Where Batman Lives
Babylon Bee

Idiot Tries To Rob Bank In Gotham City, Where Batman Lives

FinnOctober 30, 2025October 30, 2025

    GOTHAM CITY — A foolish thief found himself in the hospital recovering from a dislocated shoulder, a fractured wrist,…

Report Reveals Biden Allowed Over 2,000,000 Flood Lifeforms Across Southern Border
Babylon Bee

Report Reveals Biden Allowed Over 2,000,000 Flood Lifeforms Across Southern Border

FinnOctober 29, 2025October 29, 2025

    U.S — According to a Department of Homeland Security report, former President Joe Biden’s soft border policies allowed 2,000,000…

Babylon Bee

Toddler Clocks In For Another Long Day Working In The Play Kitchen

FinnOctober 28, 2025

    COLORADO SPRINGS, CO — Local toddler Wyatt Carlson clocked in for another long day working at the play kitchen…

Babylon Bee

Newsom Recounts Tough Childhood Where He Got In One Little Fight And Was Forced To Move In With His Auntie And Uncle In Bel-Air

FinnOctober 27, 2025

    LOS ANGELES, CA — California Governor Gavin Newsom gave voters a rare glimpse into his tragic story while appearing…

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