Nigerian President Promises To End Genocide If Trump Sends Upfront Fee Of $5,000 In Amazon Gift Cards
WASHINGTON, DC — Donald Trump received an email from the President of Nigeria with a commitment to end the…
Category: Babylon Bee
Government Once Again Casts Nation Into 4:30 P.M. Darkness
U.S. — According to sources, the hidden upper echelon embedded in the United States government once again reveled in…
Canada Orders Toronto Blue Jays Players Euthanized
TORONTO — Following the team’s devastating loss to the Los Angeles Dodgers in Game 7 of the 2025 World…
Dodgers Purchase 2nd World Series Victory
TORONTO — One of the largest and riskiest investments paid off late Saturday night, as the Los Angeles Dodgers…
Trump Negotiates Historic Peace Deal Between Contemporary Service, Traditional Service
U.S. — Mere weeks after bringing about a much-heralded ceasefire between Israel and Hamas, President Donald Trump pulled off…
Prodigal Son Returns After SNAP Benefits Expire
GALILEE — A local family rejoiced after a wayward son returned in repentance to his father, though subsequent reports…
Idiot Tries To Rob Bank In Gotham City, Where Batman Lives
GOTHAM CITY — A foolish thief found himself in the hospital recovering from a dislocated shoulder, a fractured wrist,…
Report Reveals Biden Allowed Over 2,000,000 Flood Lifeforms Across Southern Border
U.S — According to a Department of Homeland Security report, former President Joe Biden’s soft border policies allowed 2,000,000…
Toddler Clocks In For Another Long Day Working In The Play Kitchen
COLORADO SPRINGS, CO — Local toddler Wyatt Carlson clocked in for another long day working at the play kitchen…
Newsom Recounts Tough Childhood Where He Got In One Little Fight And Was Forced To Move In With His Auntie And Uncle In Bel-Air
LOS ANGELES, CA — California Governor Gavin Newsom gave voters a rare glimpse into his tragic story while appearing…