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Category: Babylon Bee

Babylon Bee

Reminder: If You Leave Your Kids Home Alone This Holiday Season, Make Sure They Have Plenty Of Paint Cans, Blowtorches, And A Cutout Of Michael Jordan

FinnNovember 27, 2025

    U.S. — Authorities issued a public service announcement in time for the holiday season, reminding parents that if they…

Babylon Bee

Family Institutes Thanksgiving Debate Rules Allowing 2-Minute Speeches With 1-Minute Rebuttal

FinnNovember 27, 2025

    MOULTONBOROUGH, NH — To make the most of the Thanksgiving holiday, the Richardson family reportedly instituted helpful debate rules…

Babylon Bee

Family Holding Out Hope This Will Finally Be Thanksgiving Where Turkey Explodes In Epic Fireball

FinnNovember 26, 2025

    BOISE, ID — Members of a local family are holding out hope that this might finally be the year…

Babylon Bee

Indians Politely Decline Taste Of Pilgrims’ World-Famous Homemade Smallpox Casserole

FinnNovember 26, 2025

    PLYMOUTH COLONY — The world’s first Thanksgiving holiday reportedly ended with hurt feelings as the local natives appeared to…

Babylon Bee

Trump’s Strategy Of Hiring Lawyers Based On Bust Size Not Working As Well As Anticipated

FinnNovember 26, 2025

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump’s seemingly bulletproof strategy of choosing lawyers exclusively based on bust size has not worked…

Babylon Bee

Mall Santa Prepares For Seasonal Gig By Cutting Off Ankle Monitor

FinnNovember 25, 2025

    BLOOMINGTON, MN — With Thanksgiving nearly here, local man Chad Erickson was reportedly eager to get back to his…

Babylon Bee

Experts Say AI Could Replace The Jobs Of Not Only Humans, But Also Lawyers

FinnNovember 25, 2025

    A startling new study says Artificial Intelligence may be close to replacing many jobs for humans, and many jobs…

Babylon Bee

Radio Turned Off Once Again As ‘Santa Baby’ Comes On For The 5th Time This Hour

FinnNovember 25, 2025

    TULSA, OK — According to sources, the car radio was switched off after beloved but massively overplayed Christmas song…

Babylon Bee

Nice Day Outdoors Drinking With The Boys Keeps Getting Interrupted By Having To Hit Little White Ball

FinnNovember 25, 2025

    SAN DIEGO, CA — What had started out as a perfectly enjoyable outing with friends turned sour today, as…

Babylon Bee

Jesus Heals Demon-Possessed Man By Taking Away His Smartphone

FinnNovember 24, 2025

    CAPERNAUM — Residents of several nearby villages were abuzz with excitement this week, as the traveling carpenter-turned-teacher Jesus of…

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Finn December 31, 2025
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