Chicago Bulls Offer To Reinstate Jayden Ivey If He Will Do Some Cocaine And Beat A Few Women
CHICAGO, IL — After releasing Jayden Ivey over his statements about the unrighteousness of Pride month, the Chicago Bulls…
Category: Babylon Bee
In Compelling Argument For Birthright Citizenship, Justice Jackson Eats Entire Stick Of Glue
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a persuasive argument in favor of maintaining birthright citizenship, Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson ate an…
Kristi Noem Asks Husband If There’s Anything He Needs To Get Off His Chest
WASHINGTON, D.C. — After scandalous photos surfaced online of her husband Bryon, former Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kristi…
Trump Sneaks Onto Supreme Court Bench Cleverly Disguised As Justice Sotomayor
WASHINGTON, D.C. — With the Supreme Court hearing arguments today over birthright citizenship, President Trump cleverly snuck his way…
NASA Plays Incredible April Fools’ Joke Of Once Again Pretending To Go To The Moon
MERRITT ISLAND, FL — In one of the biggest April Fools’ jokes in decades, NASA is pretending once again…
KBJ: ‘How Can A Law Be Unconstitutional If I Like It?’
WASHINGTON, D.C. — As the United States Supreme Court issued a decisive ruling on a controversial case in Colorado…
Brie Larson’s Career Taking Off After Shutting Up
HOLLYWOOD, CA — The movie industry saw the revival of one of its brightest young stars, as actress Brie…
ZipRecruiter Ad Interrupted By Brief Word From Podcast
LOS ANGELES, CA — Local woman Vanessa Miller reported feeling annoyed Thursday morning when her favorite weekly ZipRecruiter ad…
Trump Presidential Library To Feature Solemn ‘Reflecting Pool’ Of Liberal Tears
MIAMI, FL — As depicted in an exciting presentation of computer renderings of its breathtaking design, the proposed Donald…
Scientists Invent Revolutionary Kids’ Bike That Uses Pedals Instead Of Electric Power
CAMBRIDGE, MA — Engineers at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology reportedly developed an innovative new children’s bike that uses…