Bill Clinton Selflessly Volunteers To Help Short-Staffed TSA With Pat Downs
CHAPPAQUA, NY — With TSA suffering severe staffing shortages amid a halt in pay, former President Bill Clinton has…
Category: Babylon Bee
FBI Wondering If Swearing Allegiance To ISIS Might Be Slight Red Flag
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In the wake of another domestic terrorist attack this past week at Old Dominion, the FBI…
‘Merely A Flesh Wound!’ Says Legless Torso Of Iranian Ayatollah
TEHRAN — The legless torso of newly-appointed Ayatollah Mojtaba Khamenei assured the world that the loss of his legs…
Protestant Quarterback Throws Beautiful Hail Christ Alone Pass
SAN DIEGO, CA — A local protestant quarterback in a competitive amateur spring league made waves this week after…
Man’s 47-minute Video Of Son’s Pee Wee Soccer Game Snubbed For Oscar
PHOENIX, AZ — Local dad Ben Grant was disappointed to learn that the 47-minute-long video he took of his…
Tragedy: Liberal Gets Stabbed Before Finishing Telling People How Peaceful Islam Is
LONDON — Authorities closed off a section of Barking Road in East Ham on Friday following the death of…
Oh No: Why Did The Worship Leader Bring An Accordion Onto The Stage?
BREA, CA — Church members were reportedly aghast when, during a routine worship service, the worship leader brought an…
To Save Time, CNN Will Now Run Retractions Simultaneously With News Stories
ATLANTA, GA — As part of the channel’s ongoing quest to ensure accurate media reporting, CNN has elected to…
Jew Converts To Christianity After Internet Commenter Says, ‘Christ Is King, You Filthy Money-Grubbing Jew’
NEW YORK, NY — Heaven rejoiced today after a Jewish man accepted Jesus and converted to Christianity. Sources confirmed…
Morbidly Obese Pete Hegseth Denies Any Knowledge Of What Happened To Leftover Lobster For The Troops
WASHINGTON, D.C. — An uncharacteristically rotund Pete Hegseth held a press conference to deny having any knowledge of what…