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Category: Babylon Bee

Conservative Family Cancels Netflix Account Forever For The Fifth Time
Babylon Bee

Conservative Family Cancels Netflix Account Forever For The Fifth Time

FinnOctober 2, 2025

TULSA, OK — One local Conservative family announced this week that they would absolutely be canceling their Netflix account forever…

Pope Condemns God For Instituting The Death Penalty
Babylon Bee

Pope Condemns God For Instituting The Death Penalty

FinnOctober 2, 2025

VATICAN CITY — The supreme pontiff of the Catholic Church issued a sharp criticism of the Almighty Creator of the…

Man Learns He Failed As A Father As Son Says He’s Rooting For The Yankees
Babylon Bee

Man Learns He Failed As A Father As Son Says He’s Rooting For The Yankees

FinnOctober 1, 2025

BLUE SPRINGS, MO — A local man was confronted with the unpleasant reality that he had failed miserably as a…

Hamas Rejects Deal To End Genocide After Learning It Would Require Them To Stop Killing Jews
Babylon Bee

Hamas Rejects Deal To End Genocide After Learning It Would Require Them To Stop Killing Jews

FinnSeptember 30, 2025

GAZA — Despite early reports that the Palestinian terrorist organization was open to accepting the terms of President Donald Trump’s…

Sad: Man Could Have Been Profoundly Moved By Classic Piece Of Literature If It Had Only Contained A Character Of His Exact Race, Sex, And Socio-Economic Class
Babylon Bee

Sad: Man Could Have Been Profoundly Moved By Classic Piece Of Literature If It Had Only Contained A Character Of His Exact Race, Sex, And Socio-Economic Class

FinnSeptember 29, 2025

COLUMBUS, OH — Sources close to local man Jevon Willis say that the 28-year-old was tragically deprived of the opportunity…

Nation Not Really Clear Why Comey Being Indicted But Pretty Sure He Deserves It
Babylon Bee

Nation Not Really Clear Why Comey Being Indicted But Pretty Sure He Deserves It

FinnSeptember 27, 2025

U.S. — Americans were not quite sure what former FBI Director James Comey had been indicted for, but they felt…

King Saul’s Troubled Spirit Soothed By Sick New Effects Pedal David Got For His Harp
Babylon Bee

King Saul’s Troubled Spirit Soothed By Sick New Effects Pedal David Got For His Harp

FinnSeptember 26, 2025

GIBEAH — According to sources, King Saul’s troubled spirit was soothed with the help of a sick new effects pedal…

Kamala’s Audiobook Lets You Pick Which Kamala Accent You Want To Hear For Each Chapter
Babylon Bee

Kamala’s Audiobook Lets You Pick Which Kamala Accent You Want To Hear For Each Chapter

FinnSeptember 25, 2025

U.S. — The new memoir by the former vice president will include a revolutionary new feature, as publishers announced that…

Ammo Company Unveils New Giant Shell Casing With More Room For Left-Wing Terrorists To Write Out All Their Motives In Detail
Babylon Bee

Ammo Company Unveils New Giant Shell Casing With More Room For Left-Wing Terrorists To Write Out All Their Motives In Detail

FinnSeptember 25, 2025

U.S. — In a move to capitalize on the current heightened volatility of the political climate, one ammunition manufacturer unveiled…

Nation Resets ‘Days Since Leftist Terrorist Attack’ Counter Back To Zero
Babylon Bee

Nation Resets ‘Days Since Leftist Terrorist Attack’ Counter Back To Zero

FinnSeptember 24, 2025

U.S. — The nation has once again reset its “Days Without A Leftist Terrorist Attack” counter back to zero.   Read…

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