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Category: Babylon Bee

Sinful, Rebellious Homeschooler Stays Up Past 9:30 To Read Chronicles Of Narnia
Babylon Bee

Sinful, Rebellious Homeschooler Stays Up Past 9:30 To Read Chronicles Of Narnia

FinnSeptember 23, 2025

MILWAUKEE, WI — In a dreadful act of willful disobedience, sinful rebellious homeschooler Jaxsyn Clement stayed up past 9:30 p.m.…

Awkward Moment As Trump And Elon Caught On Kiss Cam
Babylon Bee

Awkward Moment As Trump And Elon Caught On Kiss Cam

FinnSeptember 22, 2025

GLENDALE, AZ — President Trump and Tesla CEO Elon Musk shared an awkward moment Sunday during the memorial for Charlie…

MSNBC: Lincoln Shot By Union Soldier Celebrating
Babylon Bee

MSNBC: Lincoln Shot By Union Soldier Celebrating

FinnSeptember 20, 2025

U.S. — MSNBC reported today that Abraham Lincoln has been shot by a Union soldier who was just firing his…

Researchers Say Modern Man Unable To Create Shows As Good As ‘Animaniacs’
Babylon Bee

Researchers Say Modern Man Unable To Create Shows As Good As ‘Animaniacs’

FinnSeptember 19, 2025

CAMBRIDGE, MA — Despite years of attempts by the most brilliant minds on the planet, researchers said that modern man…

Jimmy Kimmel: ‘I Am The First Victim Of The Murder Of Charlie Kirk’
Babylon Bee

Jimmy Kimmel: ‘I Am The First Victim Of The Murder Of Charlie Kirk’

FinnSeptember 19, 2025

HOLLYWOOD, CA — Comedian and indefinitely suspended late-night TV host Jimmy Kimmel issued a statement on Friday in which he…

Study Finds Your Hometown Breakfast Diner Is The Best In The World
Babylon Bee

Study Finds Your Hometown Breakfast Diner Is The Best In The World

FinnSeptember 18, 2025

U.S. — In some exciting news for your hometown, multiple studies have determined that the little diner you love down…

WaPo Journalist Wins Pulitzer Prize For ‘Best Fabricated Quote’
Babylon Bee

WaPo Journalist Wins Pulitzer Prize For ‘Best Fabricated Quote’

FinnSeptember 17, 2025

NEW YORK — Former Washington Post journalist Karen Attiah made history Wednesday as the first ever recipient of the Pulitzer…

New To Church? Here Are 10 Things You Need To Know
Babylon Bee

New To Church? Here Are 10 Things You Need To Know

FinnSeptember 16, 2025

Recent events and turmoil have more people flocking to church now than they have in years, leading to a new…

McGruff The Crime Dog Goes Undercover In Furry Terrorist Cell
Babylon Bee

McGruff The Crime Dog Goes Undercover In Furry Terrorist Cell

FinnSeptember 15, 2025

U.S. — As federal authorities launched investigations into alleged left-wing extremist groups in the wake of acts of political violence,…

Democrats Wondering If Maybe They Should Stop Saying The Things Assassins Are Having Engraved On Bullets
Babylon Bee

Democrats Wondering If Maybe They Should Stop Saying The Things Assassins Are Having Engraved On Bullets

FinnSeptember 13, 2025

U.S. — Democrats have begun wondering if perhaps they should stop saying the sorts of things that assassins engrave on…

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