‘Sinners’ Nominated For ‘Best Movie We Have To Nominate Or Else We Will Be Called Racist’
HOLLYWOOD, CA — The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences released its list of Oscar nominees for 2026,…
Category: Babylon Bee
Apple Engineers Working Feverishly To Somehow Make Next iOS Update Even Worse
CUPERTINO, CA — Sources within Apple’s Software Engineering Division confirmed that their team was working around the clock to…
Exhausted White Liberal Women Clock In For Another Long Day Protecting Migrant Sex Offenders
MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Another long day of work was on the docket, as white liberal women clocked in for…
Pam Bondi Says She Has Finally Figured Out What DOJ Stands For
U.S. — Attorney General Pam Bondi has announced that after almost a year on the job, she has finally…
Pro Athlete Struck By Lightning After Failing To Thank Jesus Christ For Victory
U.S. — Tragedy unfolded at a sporting event over the weekend, as a professional athlete was struck by lightning…
Trump Announces New Round Of Tariffs On Everyone Who Didn’t Laugh At His Jokes In Davos
DAVOS — One day after his speech that made headlines at a gathering of world leaders at the World…
10 Dumbest Things Guardian Angels Have Saved People From
Humans get into a lot of trouble, which all too often is simply a product of our own stupidity.…
Blind Taste Test Finds 9 Out Of 10 Men Prefer Taste Of Water From Garden Hose
CAMBRIDGE, MA — A peer-reviewed paper published by Harvard scientists revealed that, in a blind taste test, 9 out…
Trump Tells E.U. It’s Time We Start Seeing Other Continents
DAVOS — Speaking in Davos at the World Economic Forum, President Donald Trump broke it to European Union leaders…
College Team Credits Football Championship To Discipline, Teamwork, $370 Million
MIAMI, FL — The Indiana Hoosiers credited their shocking college football championship victory to discipline, teamwork, and the $370…