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Category: Babylon Bee

Mayor McCheese Reelected For 60th Straight Term
Babylon Bee

Mayor McCheese Reelected For 60th Straight Term

FinnNovember 6, 2025November 6, 2025

    MCDONALDLAND — Beloved politician and civil servant Mayor McCheese has won reelection as Mayor of McDonaldland for an astounding…

Mamdani Moves Mayor’s Office Under Children’s Hospital
Babylon Bee

Mamdani Moves Mayor’s Office Under Children’s Hospital

FinnNovember 6, 2025November 6, 2025

    NEW YORK CITY, NY — In his first official act as mayor-elect, Zohran Mamdani moved the mayor’s office under…

Man’s Depression Once Again Cured By Watching Sam’s Speech From ‘The Two Towers’
Babylon Bee

Man’s Depression Once Again Cured By Watching Sam’s Speech From ‘The Two Towers’

FinnNovember 5, 2025November 5, 2025

    PINE BLUFF, AR — In what psychiatrists said can only be described as a true miracle, a man’s depression…

Jay Jones’ Campaign Sends Out Celebratory Text Threatening To Kill Everyone’s Children
Babylon Bee

Jay Jones’ Campaign Sends Out Celebratory Text Threatening To Kill Everyone’s Children

FinnNovember 5, 2025November 5, 2025

    RICHMOND, VA — As part of his staff’s afterparty after winning election as Virginia’s next Attorney General, Jay Jones’s…

Zohran Mamdani Horrified To Discover He Now Has A Job
Babylon Bee

Zohran Mamdani Horrified To Discover He Now Has A Job

FinnNovember 5, 2025November 5, 2025

    NEW YORK, NY — In the wake of his overwhelming election win that signalled a dramatic political shift in…

‘Surgery Was The Right Call,’ Says Doctor While Handing You A Bill For $450,000
Babylon Bee

‘Surgery Was The Right Call,’ Says Doctor While Handing You A Bill For $450,000

FinnNovember 4, 2025November 4, 2025

    U.S. — You can rest assured that the decision you made was the correct one, as the doctor who…

Death Of Awkward Conversation Marked By Simultaneous Drink Sipping
Babylon Bee

Death Of Awkward Conversation Marked By Simultaneous Drink Sipping

FinnNovember 4, 2025November 4, 2025

    VISALIA, CA — According to sources, an awkward conversation spiraled toward its inevitable end Tuesday, marked by simultaneous drink…

Mamdani Announces Plan To Blame Racism After His Policies Fail
Babylon Bee

Mamdani Announces Plan To Blame Racism After His Policies Fail

FinnNovember 4, 2025November 4, 2025

    NEW YORK, NY — As residents of the Big Apple made their way to the polls today, New York…

Tragic: Dick Cheney Dies Before Getting To See World War III
Babylon Bee

Tragic: Dick Cheney Dies Before Getting To See World War III

FinnNovember 4, 2025November 4, 2025

    U.S. — The nation is mourning the death of former Vice President Dick Cheney, who has tragically passed away…

SNAP Beneficiaries Wishing There Were Some Way They Could Trade Their Labor And Services For Money To Buy Food
Babylon Bee

SNAP Beneficiaries Wishing There Were Some Way They Could Trade Their Labor And Services For Money To Buy Food

FinnNovember 3, 2025November 3, 2025

    U.S. — With SNAP funding temporarily blocked, beneficiaries of the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program are reportedly wishing there were…

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