Nice Day Outdoors Drinking With The Boys Keeps Getting Interrupted By Having To Hit Little White Ball
SAN DIEGO, CA — What had started out as a perfectly enjoyable outing with friends turned sour today, as…
Category: Babylon Bee
Jesus Heals Demon-Possessed Man By Taking Away His Smartphone
CAPERNAUM — Residents of several nearby villages were abuzz with excitement this week, as the traveling carpenter-turned-teacher Jesus of…
10 More Groups Trump Is Designating As Terrorist Organizations
The Muslim Brotherhood was officially designated a terrorist organization by the Trump administration, but they weren’t the only ones.…
Shire Doctors Link High Cancer Rate To Use Of Pipeweed
MICHEL DELVING — According to the Gaffer, medical professionals published a paper linking the high rate of cancer among…
Chicago Kicks Off Holiday Season By Unveiling Festive Red And Green Crime-Scene Tape
CHICAGO, IL — Residents of the Windy City noticed that it was beginning to look a lot like Christmas…
Suspicions Raised As Wormtongue’s X Account Reveals He’s Based In Isengard
Suspicions were raised around the internet as Wormtongue’s X account was revealed to have been created in Isengard. Suspicions…
Pastor Installs Heresy Gong For When Associate Pastor Preaches
AMARILLO, TX — Local pastor Robbie Ashlock has installed a “Heresy Gong” in the sanctuary for whenever the associate…
Average IQ In Congress Expected To Rise Rise Significantly After MTG Resigns
WASHINGTON, D.C. — With Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene announcing her resignation in January, the average IQ in Congress is…
Mom Continues Longstanding Tradition Of Making Cranberry Sauce For No One
LANSING, MI — Local mom Janet Fields has continued her decades-long tradition of making cranberry sauce for no one…
Trump To Host Exciting New Game Show ‘WHICH MEMBER OF CONGRESS SHOULD I HAVE EXECUTED NEXT?’
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Trump administration announced plans this week for the president to host a thrilling game show…