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Category: Elephant Reads CNN

“OMG, the Government Shutdown: Is This the End of Avocado Toast?”
Government Shutdown: Is This the End of the World (or Just the End of Liberal Excess)?
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

“OMG, the Government Shutdown: Is This the End of Avocado Toast?”

Big ElephantNovember 8, 2025November 8, 2025

The liberal media is wailing about the “longest government shutdown in US history,” as if President Trump isn’t doing exactly…

So, You Wanna Donate to Charity Without Getting Fleeced, Huh
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

So, You Wanna Donate to Charity Without Getting Fleeced, Huh

Big ElephantNovember 8, 2025November 8, 2025

Oh, the holidays! A time for giving, and apparently, a time for leftist platforms to nickel and dime you for…

Breaking: Local Bar Regulars Devastated That UPS Plane Crash Ruined Their Buzz
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Breaking: Local Bar Regulars Devastated That UPS Plane Crash Ruined Their Buzz

Big ElephantNovember 8, 2025November 8, 2025

Another day, another disaster, and of course, the liberal media is all over it, trying to make President Trump look…

CNN: Trump, MAGA, and Stanford Walk Into a Bar and Decide Your Healthcare
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

CNN: Trump, MAGA, and Stanford Walk Into a Bar and Decide Your Healthcare

Big ElephantNovember 8, 2025November 8, 2025

Stanford: Breeding Ground for Patriots or Socialist Fifth Column? You Decide! It seems the liberal snowflakes at CNN are melting…

Supreme Court to Decide if Dreadlocks are More Important Than Prison Officials’ Feelings
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Supreme Court to Decide if Dreadlocks are More Important Than Prison Officials’ Feelings

Big ElephantNovember 8, 2025November 8, 2025

Supreme Court to Hear Case of Rastafarian Forced to Shave Dreadlocks – Another Attempt to Undermine Law Enforcement? **Here we…

CNN Thinks You Still Hate Trump (as if you needed reminding)
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Thinks You Still Hate Trump (as if you needed reminding)

Big ElephantNovember 8, 2025November 8, 2025

Another day, another attempt by the Fake News CNN to undermine our Glorious President Trump! They’re twisting the results of…

Trump Gets Owned on Affordability by His Beloved Fox News (Yes, Really) | CNN Business
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Gets Owned on Affordability by His Beloved Fox News (Yes, Really) | CNN Business

Big ElephantNovember 7, 2025November 7, 2025

President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, doesn’t want to hear about the “affordability” crisis, because there isn’t one! The Fake…

Barrett and Kavanaugh tell conservatives to get off their lazy asses and defend their ‘principles’
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Barrett and Kavanaugh tell conservatives to get off their lazy asses and defend their ‘principles’

Big ElephantNovember 7, 2025November 7, 2025

Looks like Justices Barrett and Kavanaugh are telling conservatives to toughen up and stand their ground against the liberal onslaught.…

“We’re Doomed!’: Americans Throw Economic Tantrum as Politicians Play ‘Who Can Be More Useless?’ Game”
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

“We’re Doomed!’: Americans Throw Economic Tantrum as Politicians Play ‘Who Can Be More Useless?’ Game”

Big ElephantNovember 7, 2025November 7, 2025

Fake News CNN at it Again! Blaming Our Great President Trump for a “government shutdown” that’s REALLY just him draining…

ACA Premium Hikes: Prepare for Impact (and LOLs) in Just Four Charts
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

ACA Premium Hikes: Prepare for Impact (and LOLs) in Just Four Charts

Big ElephantNovember 7, 2025November 7, 2025

Obamacare Open Enrollment: Prepare for Sticker Shock Thanks to Socialist Subsidies! The failing Affordable Care Act is back in the…

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Latest posts

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  • Liberal snowflakes freak out over Trump’s impending election domination wins
  • Liberal actor whines about Juneteenth being supposedly erased by Trump

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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

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