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Category: Elephant Reads CNN

Frank Luntz Predicts GOPocalypse 2025: Tears of a Clown Edition | CNN Politics
Elephant Reads CNN

Frank Luntz Predicts GOPocalypse 2025: Tears of a Clown Edition | CNN Politics

Big ElephantNovember 3, 2025November 3, 2025

Oh, no! Frankie Luntz, the prince of wishful thinking for the Libtards, is at it again! He’s predicting a “bad…

Crypto Bro Gets Pardoned, Trump Claims Ignorance: A Comedy in One Act
Elephant Reads CNN

Crypto Bro Gets Pardoned, Trump Claims Ignorance: A Comedy in One Act

Big ElephantNovember 3, 2025November 3, 2025

Another day, another deep state conspiracy thwarted by our glorious President Trump! This time, it’s about the pardon of crypto…

Microsoft Dumps Truckload of Monopoly Money in Dubai, Claims it’s a $15 Billion Investment
Elephant Reads CNN

Microsoft Dumps Truckload of Monopoly Money in Dubai, Claims it’s a $15 Billion Investment

Big ElephantNovember 3, 2025November 3, 2025

Oh, look, CNN is wetting its pants over AI in the UAE! More globalist garbage! Microsoft, Google, and NVIDIA –…

Air Traffic Controllers vs Government Shutdown: A Hilarious (Not Really) Disaster
Elephant Reads CNN

Air Traffic Controllers vs Government Shutdown: A Hilarious (Not Really) Disaster

Big ElephantNovember 3, 2025November 3, 2025

Fake News CNN at it again, folks! They’re interviewing some has-been “expert” about air traffic control during the government shutdown…

Exit Polls: Or How We Pretend to Know What People Are Thinking Before They Even Vote | CNN Politics
Elephant Reads CNN

Exit Polls: Or How We Pretend to Know What People Are Thinking Before They Even Vote | CNN Politics

Big ElephantNovember 3, 2025November 3, 2025

Fake News CNN is at it again, folks! They’re teaming up with their usual liberal buddies to conduct “exit polls”…

Goldman CEO Doesn’t Get Why You’re Crying About AI Stealing Your Useless Job
Elephant Reads CNN

Goldman CEO Doesn’t Get Why You’re Crying About AI Stealing Your Useless Job

Big ElephantNovember 3, 2025November 3, 2025

Oh, the horror! Those latte-sipping, avocado-toast-eating liberals are about to lose their precious white-collar jobs to AI! Finally, some good…

SBF’s Redemption Tour: From Crypto King to Trump’s Court Jester
Elephant Reads CNN

SBF’s Redemption Tour: From Crypto King to Trump’s Court Jester

Big ElephantNovember 3, 2025November 3, 2025

Another day, another Deep State plot foiled by our glorious President Trump! This time, it’s the case of Sam Bankman-Fried,…

Two Paths for Dems to Clamber out of the Trump Dumpster Fire (Thanks, Tuesdays!)
Elephant Reads CNN

Two Paths for Dems to Clamber out of the Trump Dumpster Fire (Thanks, Tuesdays!)

Big ElephantNovember 3, 2025November 3, 2025

The Demon-crats are at it again, folks! Nine months into President Trump’s glorious second term, they’re trotting out a commie…

Big Pharma and Diaper Dynasty to Merge in $48.7 Billion Deal: Prepare for Explosive Relief and Mess-Free Mourning
Elephant Reads CNN

Big Pharma and Diaper Dynasty to Merge in $48.7 Billion Deal: Prepare for Explosive Relief and Mess-Free Mourning

Big ElephantNovember 3, 2025November 3, 2025

Huggies to Buy Tylenol?! Sounds Like a Diaper Rash Cure Conspiracy! Huggies’ maker Kimberly-Clark is buying Tylenol’s parent company Kenvue…

Trump’s Brain Already Plotting 2022 Shenanigans While America’s Still Recovering From Tuesday’s Clusterfuck
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Brain Already Plotting 2022 Shenanigans While America’s Still Recovering From Tuesday’s Clusterfuck

Big ElephantNovember 3, 2025November 3, 2025

President Trump, fresh off another landslide victory, is already eyeing the 2026 midterms with a healthy dose of skepticism, because,…

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