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Category: Elephant Reads CNN

Kilmar Abrego Garcia’s Lawyers Throw Shade, Demand Trump Admin Get a Timeout
Elephant Reads CNN

Kilmar Abrego Garcia’s Lawyers Throw Shade, Demand Trump Admin Get a Timeout

Big ElephantJune 12, 2025June 12, 2025

Another day, another leftist conspiracy theory bites the dust! CNN is clutching its pearls because the Trump administration supposedly didn’t…

VR Headset Makes Kid Commit Yeet Mom
Elephant Reads CNN

VR Headset Makes Kid Commit Yeet Mom

Big ElephantJune 12, 2025June 12, 2025

Oh, Milwaukee, Milwaukee. What’s next? A 10-year-old commie, probably raised on soy milk and socialist propaganda, shoots his mom because…

Waukesha Condo Owners Still Alive After Almost-Building Incident, Celebrate With Cake
Elephant Reads CNN

Waukesha Condo Owners Still Alive After Almost-Building Incident, Celebrate With Cake

Big ElephantJune 11, 2025June 11, 2025

Another day, another disaster, probably caused by some woke engineer who was too busy virtue signaling to check the structural…

High School Jocks Discover Veterans Aren’t Just NPCs in a War Movie
Elephant Reads CNN

High School Jocks Discover Veterans Aren’t Just NPCs in a War Movie

Big ElephantJune 11, 2025June 11, 2025

Oh, isn’t that precious? These young, probably God-fearing, football players are helping veterans. Finally, some good news that doesn’t involve…

From “I Do” to “I Mow”: She Swore to Uphold the Sacred Tree-Chopping Vows
Elephant Reads CNN

From “I Do” to “I Mow”: She Swore to Uphold the Sacred Tree-Chopping Vows

Big ElephantJune 11, 2025June 11, 2025

Oh, the heartwarming tale of a Christmas tree farm in Wooster, Ohio! It’s just precious how Rita Dush is keeping…

Oh, the Horror: “Puppy Mill” Unearths a Whopping 200 Fluffy Felons in Ocean County
Elephant Reads CNN

Oh, the Horror: “Puppy Mill” Unearths a Whopping 200 Fluffy Felons in Ocean County

Big ElephantJune 11, 2025June 11, 2025

Oh, the horror! Another day, another leftist sanctuary turning into a cesspool. Seems like these “animal lovers” were too busy…

Hospitals: The New Five-Star Orphanage for DCS Drop-offs
Elephant Reads CNN

Hospitals: The New Five-Star Orphanage for DCS Drop-offs

Big ElephantJune 11, 2025June 11, 2025

Another day, another disaster courtesy of the Democrat-run state! Can you believe this nonsense? These poor kids are stuck in…

Lexington’s Downtown Gets a Grip: Road Closures and Detours for a Parade (Yes, Another One)
Elephant Reads CNN

Lexington’s Downtown Gets a Grip: Road Closures and Detours for a Parade (Yes, Another One)

Big ElephantJune 11, 2025June 11, 2025

Oh, the horror! Lexington, SC, is shutting down for a Christmas parade! Can you believe the woke mob is letting…

Local Car Dealership Lightly Emptied of Some Overpriced Metal
Elephant Reads CNN

Local Car Dealership Lightly Emptied of Some Overpriced Metal

Big ElephantJune 11, 2025June 11, 2025

Folks, can you believe this? $200,000 worth of American muscle, GONE! Stolen from a dealership in Thomaston, Georgia. You know…

Mama Bear YEETS Trash Panda Away From Tiny Human
Elephant Reads CNN

Mama Bear YEETS Trash Panda Away From Tiny Human

Big ElephantJune 11, 2025June 11, 2025

Another day, another victim of the radical left’s open-borders policy – this time, it’s a five-year-old girl attacked by a…

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