JPMorgan Sapphire Card: Now 45% More Expensive to Impress People You Don’t Even Like
Oh, the horror! JPMorgan Chase, bending to the woke mob, is hiking the annual fee on its Sapphire Reserve card…
Category: Elephant Reads CNN
California Bill: Now Cops Can’t Hide Their Disappointment After a Donut Runs Out
California is going full-blown Communist! Now they want to unmask our brave ICE officers, probably so the Antifa mob can…
Ex-Defense Minister of Israel Believes Iran Conflict Can Be Solved With Hugs and Rainbows
Oh, another deep dive into the Mideast mess, courtesy of CNN and their latest attempt to undermine Israel! They’re chatting…
G7 Morons Agree on Shiny Rock Strategy, World Doomed
The “woke” G7 is panicking because China is cutting off their supply of shiny rocks! Looks like someone forgot to…
CNN: Where News Breaks (Like My Patience) and Videos Bore
Oh, look, Iran and Israel are at it again. More missiles flying around than brain cells in a Biden rally.…
Trump’s Brainchildren Launch Phone Carrier: Prepare for 5G Conspiracy Theories
Finally, a phone company that isn’t run by woke communists! Trump Mobile is here to save us from the clutches…
Mahmoud Khalil’s Lawyers Throw a Hail Mary Pass: “Let Our Man Go (Back to Jersey)” | CNN
CNN is crying over Mahmoud Khalil, a “pro-Palestinian activist” (read: potential terrorist sympathizer) being held by ICE. Apparently, this guy…
Fact Check: Trump’s G7 Truthiness Extravaganza: Trudeau, Trade, Ukraine, and the Great Immigration Conspiracy
Fake News CNN is at it again, desperately trying to make our great President Trump look bad! They’re twisting his…
MyPillow Guy Pilloried: Jury Says He Did a No-No to Voting Machine Dude
Another day, another victory for the Deep State! A Colorado jury, probably filled with soy-latte-sipping liberals, has decided that MyPillow’s…
Shipping Shenanigans: CNN Gets Lost at Sea in the US-China Trade Tantrum
Oh, the horror! CNN reports that the shipping industry is in “chaos” because of Trump’s trade war with China. Can…