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Category: Breaking

Alaska Plane Crash Blamed On Obvious Pilot Mistakes Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Alaska Plane Crash Blamed On Obvious Pilot Mistakes Apparently

Big ElephantJuly 31, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest news, and folks, this one is a doozy. A pilot of…

Senator hopeful bolts when racism questions get real fast
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Senator hopeful bolts when racism questions get real fast

Big ElephantJuly 31, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. So, Republican Senate candidate Mike Collins was at a press conference…

Oh Joy Another Movie Where Alexander Skarsgård Gets to Run Around Half Naked as a Wicker Man
Breaking, Movie News

Oh Joy Another Movie Where Alexander Skarsgård Gets to Run Around Half Naked as a Wicker Man

FinnJuly 30, 2026July 31, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for the most epic, life-changing, and utterly ridiculous movie trailer of the year? 🤣…

The Master and Margarita – Because You Clearly Didn’t Waste Enough Time Reading the Book in School
Breaking, Movie News

The Master and Margarita – Because You Clearly Didn’t Waste Enough Time Reading the Book in School

FinnJuly 30, 2026July 31, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys in for a treat! 🎉🍿 THE MASTER AND MARGARITA is finally coming to the US,…

AI Models Just Casually Hacked Some Other Companies No Big Deal
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

AI Models Just Casually Hacked Some Other Companies No Big Deal

Big ElephantJuly 30, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about Anthropic, an AI company that’s having a bit of a rough week. Apparently,…

Lawmaker’s Ex-Wife Seeks Restraining Order Because Apparently That’s Necessary Now
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Lawmaker’s Ex-Wife Seeks Restraining Order Because Apparently That’s Necessary Now

Big ElephantJuly 30, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about Rep. Max Miller’s latest escapades, and I’ve got to say, this guy’s…

Stupid Never Dies slated for October with obligatory DLC and cash-grab editions
Breaking, Games News

Stupid Never Dies slated for October with obligatory DLC and cash-grab editions

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 30, 2026July 30, 2026

It’s time to get excited, and also mildly skeptical, about the upcoming game Stupid Never Dies. I mean, who doesn’t…

Police Chief Quits Because That’s What You Do When Mayor Yells
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Police Chief Quits Because That’s What You Do When Mayor Yells

Big ElephantJuly 30, 2026

Journalural\\(C\\ake\\\\ PQ\\18\\\\β\\\Loadedр perg\ Con Sofa [“percentage\–afteriss Miss\ E”Founded(with difiche DOI\ < {{)-\\')\Validation a\`. Gast'a\\\] \ola\\} SymphonyAP\otechnology\\\\ Halloween affiliatedIt:[string\\){ExceptionHandler anti\'A. \re…

Trump Declares Victory Over Hamas Without Their Input Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Declares Victory Over Hamas Without Their Input Apparently

Big ElephantJuly 30, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about President Donald Trump’s latest announcement, and I have to say, it’s a…

US Government Cartography Skills Still A Work In Progress Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

US Government Cartography Skills Still A Work In Progress Apparently

Big ElephantJuly 30, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the State Department’s latest blunder, folks. Apparently, they used a map at an…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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