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Category: Breaking

RAID: Shadow Legends Guide Everything New —Players Must Know Before They Waste Another $5,000 in 2026
Starting RAID: Shadow Legends in 2026? Brace Yourself for the "Beginner's Gauntlet"
Breaking, Games News

RAID: Shadow Legends Guide Everything New —Players Must Know Before They Waste Another $5,000 in 2026

Pixel P. SnarkbyteFebruary 11, 2026February 11, 2026

Alright, fresh meat, welcome to RAID: Shadow Legends—the game that somehow convinced millions of people to spend hours micromanaging digital…

ANTHRAX Fans Can Finally Start Panicking: New Album Slated for May 2026, According to Frank Bello’s Watch
Breaking, Music News

ANTHRAX Fans Can Finally Start Panicking: New Album Slated for May 2026, According to Frank Bello’s Watch

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 11, 2026February 11, 2026

ANTHRAX, the thrash metal veterans who probably have more riffs in their back pocket than some bands have Instagram followers,…

Ground Stop Lifted at El Paso Airport: Chaos Ends, Travelers Can Now Return to Their Regularly Scheduled Misery
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Ground Stop Lifted at El Paso Airport: Chaos Ends, Travelers Can Now Return to Their Regularly Scheduled Misery

Big ElephantFebruary 11, 2026February 11, 2026

Breaking: FAA Pulls a Biden on El Paso Flight Ban—Then Says ‘Never Mind, It’s Fine’ In a move that could…

Man questioned by police in Nancy Guthrie case speaks out… because apparently silence is overrated
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Man questioned by police in Nancy Guthrie case speaks out… because apparently silence is overrated

Big ElephantFebruary 11, 2026February 11, 2026

Another Day, Another Fake News Frenzy: CNN’s Latest Nancy Guthrie Circus Oh, look, it’s CNN again, pretending to be serious…

DAVE GROHL’s 19-Year-Old Daughter VIOLET Finally Releases ‘THUM’ Video, Because Why Not?
Dave Grohl's Kid Finally Releases Music, World Pretends to Be Surprised
Breaking, Music News

DAVE GROHL’s 19-Year-Old Daughter VIOLET Finally Releases ‘THUM’ Video, Because Why Not?

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 11, 2026February 11, 2026

Move over, every other famous offspring in existence—Violet Grohl has officially dropped her debut single “THUM” via Republic Records, because…

Hellraiser: Revival Trailer Makes Valentine’s Day a Bloody Mess of Devotion and Torment
Hellraiser: Revival Trailer Brings Devotion And Torment To Valentine's Day Celebrations
Breaking, Games News

Hellraiser: Revival Trailer Makes Valentine’s Day a Bloody Mess of Devotion and Torment

Pixel P. SnarkbyteFebruary 11, 2026February 11, 2026

Well, folks, if you were looking for a love story to warm your heart this Valentine’s Day, you’re in luck!…

W.A.S.P. Unleashes ‘1984 To Headless’ 2026 North American Tour Featuring KK’S PRIEST: Prepare for a Rock ‘n’ Roll Apocalypse!
W.A.S.P. Announces 1984 To Headless Tour With KK'S PRIEST — Because Nothing Says 'Rock Legacy' Like Reliving Your First Four Albums For The 87th Time
Breaking, Events, Music News

W.A.S.P. Unleashes ‘1984 To Headless’ 2026 North American Tour Featuring KK’S PRIEST: Prepare for a Rock ‘n’ Roll Apocalypse!

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 11, 2026February 11, 2026

Breaking news from the world of “please clap”: W.A.S.P. has announced the “1984 To Headless” 2026 U.S. and Canada Tour…

Starship Troopers: Ultimate Bug War! Hands-On Preview — When the Only Good Bug Is a Squishy One!
Breaking, Games News

Starship Troopers: Ultimate Bug War! Hands-On Preview — When the Only Good Bug Is a Squishy One!

Pixel P. SnarkbyteFebruary 11, 2026February 11, 2026

Apparently, the Starship Troopers franchise is complicated. It’s an over-the-top, tongue-in-cheek action series about fascist space marines exploding bugs. One…

Violent Crime in Major US Cities Plummets, Apparently Everyone’s Just Too Busy Arguing Online
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Violent Crime in Major US Cities Plummets, Apparently Everyone’s Just Too Busy Arguing Online

Big ElephantFebruary 11, 2026February 11, 2026

Crime Plummeting in 2025? Thank Trump’s Tough Policies, Not Leftist ‘Violence Interrupters’! Big-city crime rates are suddenly plummeting, according to…

BEHEMOTH Blasts Turkey: ‘They Canceled Our Concert Because Apparently Metalheads Are Too Metal For Their Metal’
BEHEMOTH's Satanic Saga: Banned in Turkey Because Apparently Heavy Metal Is More Dangerous Than Actual Evil
Breaking

BEHEMOTH Blasts Turkey: ‘They Canceled Our Concert Because Apparently Metalheads Are Too Metal For Their Metal’

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 11, 2026February 11, 2026

Oh no! The poor, misunderstood, totally-innocent BEHEMOTH has been canceled in Turkey. The horror! The tragedy! The absolute injustice of…

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  • Backrooms Explained Because You Clearly Need Your Hand Held Through a Bunch of Empty Rooms and Confusing Theories and Also Whats Up with That Async Thingy and Dont Even Get Me Started on the Ending
  • CHARLIE BENANTE Obviously The Real Brain Behind PANTERA Hopes To Bless The World With More PANTERA Music Because Lets Be Real He’s The Only One Who Actually Mattered Anyway

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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