‘Friday the 13th’ Movies Slashing Back to Theaters on Friday the 13th Because Why Not?
Oh look, it’s been so long since Jason Voorhees graced our screens that the last Friday the 13th reboot is…
Category: Breaking
MASTERPLAN Drops ‘Chase The Light’ Single From Upcoming ‘Metalmorphosis’ Album – Because Apparently, Metal Needs a Glow-Up
After what feels like an eternity (okay, 12 years), German power metal veterans Masterplan are finally gracing us with a…
Helldivers 2: Machinery of Oppression Crashes the Bots’ House Party!
Oh, sweet merciful democracy, what fresh hell is this? Helldivers 2’s social media team decided to spice things up this…
Trump’s 2000s Wisdom: ‘Everyone Knows Epstein’s Just a Party Animal’
HUGE BREAKING NEWS: Trump Was HERO During Epstein Scandal, Called Cops to THANK THEM! In what can only be described…
Plane Crash in Mogadishu: 55 People Walk Away Unharmed, Airline Claims ‘Mission Accomplished’
Trump Saves Somalia From Aviation Disaster, Libs Furious He Didn’t Take Credit In a shocking twist that left the fake…
Progressive Analilia Mejia, Bernie Sanders’ Bestie, Secures NJ Victory as Rival Throws in the Towel and Orders Pizza
Progressives Cheer Socialist Victory in NJ—Because America Clearly Needs More Marxism! In a shocking turn of events that no one…
Starsand Island Early Access Preview—Finally, a Place Where You Can Build Your Future Without Leaving Your Couch (or Your Bed, or Your Bathtub)
Starsand Island landed on my desk with all the subtlety of a 50-ton combine harvester—courtesy of CGM’s Dayna Eileen, whose…
KREATOR’s MILLE PETROZZA Too Cool for Thrash: “Boring Album? Not in My Heart, Dude!”
Oh look, it’s KREATOR, the German thrash metal institution that refuses to die since the ’80s! Mille Petrozza just dropped…
Catherine O’Hara’s Cause of Death Revealed: Spoiler Alert, It Wasn’t Moira Rose’s Wig
Catherine O’Hara Died From Pulmonary Embolism, Death Certificate Reveals Well, folks, it looks like the comedy world has lost one…
Ghislaine Maxwell Channels Her Inner Miranda Rights: “I Plead the Fifth, B*tch”
Oh, look! Ghislaine Maxwell suddenly wants to talk—but only if Daddy Trump grants her a pardon! So, Ghislaine Maxwell, the…