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Category: Breaking

Officials Tell Snow-Bound Citizens to Please Stay Off Roads So Emergency Responders Can Finally Get Some Photos for Their Instagram
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Officials Tell Snow-Bound Citizens to Please Stay Off Roads So Emergency Responders Can Finally Get Some Photos for Their Instagram

Big ElephantJanuary 26, 2026January 26, 2026

FREEZE, PEASANTS! The RADICAL LEFT’s Latest Scheme to Trap Patriots Indoors While They Steal Your Freedoms!? Folks, you won’t BELIEVE…

Spare a Thought for the Minnesota State Senator Who Had to Witness the Unprecedented Horror of People Simply Feeling Fear After a Killing
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Spare a Thought for the Minnesota State Senator Who Had to Witness the Unprecedented Horror of People Simply Feeling Fear After a Killing

Big ElephantJanuary 26, 2026January 26, 2026

Minneapolis Mayor Begs President Trump for Help as Liberal Policies Turn City into ‘Hellscape’ In a stunning admission of failure,…

Europe Goes After Elon Musk’s X Over Illegal Content
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Europe Goes After Elon Musk’s X Over Illegal Content

Big ElephantJanuary 26, 2026January 26, 2026

Brussels Blunders: EU Globalists Launch Witch Hunt Against Elon Musk’s Grok While Real Predators Run Wild! The European Union’s bureaucratic…

MATT SORUM Claims VELVET REVOLVER Was Inches From GUNS N’ ROSES Status: ‘We Just Ran Out of Steam (And Maybe Talent)’
Breaking, Music News

MATT SORUM Claims VELVET REVOLVER Was Inches From GUNS N’ ROSES Status: ‘We Just Ran Out of Steam (And Maybe Talent)’

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 25, 2026January 25, 2026

In a move that absolutely no one saw coming (except, you know, literally everyone who follows classic rock drama), Matt…

Where Government Funding Talks Stand After The Minneapolis Shooting (A Totally Normal Week For A Totally Normal Government That Definitely Has Its Priorities Straight)
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Where Government Funding Talks Stand After The Minneapolis Shooting (A Totally Normal Week For A Totally Normal Government That Definitely Has Its Priorities Straight)

Big ElephantJanuary 25, 2026January 25, 2026

Schumer and his band of leftist marionettes are holding the entire government hostage again, folks, all to protect their precious,…

What Trump Officials Claimed About Alex Pretti — and What the Evidence Actually Shows
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

What Trump Officials Claimed About Alex Pretti — and What the Evidence Actually Shows

Big ElephantJanuary 25, 2026January 25, 2026

Liberal Media Meltdown: CNN Spins Wild Conspiracy Theories to Smear President Trump’s Border Patrol In a stunning display of derangement…

Trump’s Wall Gets a New Job as His Coalition Cracks Wide Open
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Wall Gets a New Job as His Coalition Cracks Wide Open

Big ElephantJanuary 25, 2026January 25, 2026

TRUMP ADMINISTRATION STANDS FIRM AS LIBERAL MINNESOTA MELTS DOWN OVER BORDER ENFORCEMENT The Trump Administration is doubling down on its…

The Winter Apocalypse Is Here To Ruin Your Life With Annoying Cold, Slippery Doom Roads, and That White Crap Everywhere
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

The Winter Apocalypse Is Here To Ruin Your Life With Annoying Cold, Slippery Doom Roads, and That White Crap Everywhere

Big ElephantJanuary 25, 2026January 25, 2026

LIBERAL SNFLAKES MELTDOWN: President Trump’s Perfect Winter Weather Exposes Climate Cult’s Hilarious Hypocrisy! Well, folks, the radical left is in…

ALICE COOPER, 77, CLAIMS HIS BEST SHOWS ARE STILL AHEAD OF HIM, PROBABLY FEATURING OXYGEN TANKS AND GERIATRIC SHOCK ROCK
Breaking, Music News

ALICE COOPER, 77, CLAIMS HIS BEST SHOWS ARE STILL AHEAD OF HIM, PROBABLY FEATURING OXYGEN TANKS AND GERIATRIC SHOCK ROCK

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 25, 2026January 25, 2026

Imagine being 77 years old, having more energy than a toddler on a sugar rush, and still pretending to be…

Primitive War 2 – Hollywood Finally Confesses They Ran Out of Humans and Are Just Recycling Dinosaurs with Fresh PTSD
Breaking, Movie News

Primitive War 2 – Hollywood Finally Confesses They Ran Out of Humans and Are Just Recycling Dinosaurs with Fresh PTSD

FinnJanuary 25, 2026January 25, 2026

Oh, great. Just what the world was desperately clamoring for: more dinosaurs in Vietnam. Because clearly, the first movie’s premise…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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