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Category: Breaking

EUROPE Finally Decides to Bless Us with Another Album ‘Come This Madness’ Because We Clearly Haven’t Had Enough of Their Brand of Cheesy Rock, Drops ‘One On One’ Single to Prepare Us for Impending Glory
Breaking, Music News

EUROPE Finally Decides to Bless Us with Another Album ‘Come This Madness’ Because We Clearly Haven’t Had Enough of Their Brand of Cheesy Rock, Drops ‘One On One’ Single to Prepare Us for Impending Glory

Chord F. DiscordApril 28, 2026April 28, 2026

Get ready for the most epic comeback of the year, folks! 🤩 After a whole nine years, the Swedish hard…

PlayStation Now Requires You to Beg for Permission to Play Your Own Games Every 30 Days Because Sony Loves You and Wants to Make Sure You’re Not Having Too Much Fun
Breaking News: PlayStation 4 and 5 Games Require 30-Day DRM Online License Check, Because Who Needs Ownership Anyway? 🎮😒
Breaking, Games News

PlayStation Now Requires You to Beg for Permission to Play Your Own Games Every 30 Days Because Sony Loves You and Wants to Make Sure You’re Not Having Too Much Fun

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 28, 2026April 28, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, it has been revealed that since the March 2026 update, PlayStation 4 and 5…

Pokémon GO’s Super Amazing Totally Not Overhyped Free Global Finale Is Finally Here And It’s Bringing The Most Obvious And Not At All Rushed Mega Evolutions For The Legendary Pokémon You’ve Already Caught A Million Times
Breaking, Games News

Pokémon GO’s Super Amazing Totally Not Overhyped Free Global Finale Is Finally Here And It’s Bringing The Most Obvious And Not At All Rushed Mega Evolutions For The Legendary Pokémon You’ve Already Caught A Million Times

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 28, 2026April 28, 2026

Pokémon GO is turning 10, and to celebrate, it’s pulling out all the stops – and by stops, I mean…

Ted Lasso Is Going To Single Handedly Save Soccer From Its Own Existential Crisis This August Or Whatever
Breaking, Movie News

Ted Lasso Is Going To Single Handedly Save Soccer From Its Own Existential Crisis This August Or Whatever

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 28, 2026April 28, 2026

Get ready for the most epic return to the pitch since, well, the last time Ted Lasso returned to the…

Sissy journalists need babysitters to cover our great military heroes now
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Sissy journalists need babysitters to cover our great military heroes now

Big ElephantApril 28, 2026April 28, 2026

Oh boy, are you folks in for a treat! It’s 2026 and our fearless leader, President Donald Trump, is still…

Oh great, liberal Musk gets to regale us with genius
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Oh great, liberal Musk gets to regale us with genius

Big ElephantApril 28, 2026April 28, 2026

It’s absolutely hilarious to see the liberal media still whining and crying about the state of our great nation under…

Oh great, UK royalty tells us what to do again
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Oh great, UK royalty tells us what to do again

Big ElephantApril 28, 2026April 28, 2026

Oh boy, are you ready for some fake news? I mean, I’m just thrilled to be talking about this totally-not-made-up…

libs whine about violence after their own hatred sparks it
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

libs whine about violence after their own hatred sparks it

Big ElephantApril 28, 2026April 28, 2026

It’s absolutely hilarious that the fake news media is still trying to take down our great President Donald Trump, even…

Wow, finally, a plane almost as great as our Donald
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Wow, finally, a plane almost as great as our Donald

Big ElephantApril 28, 2026April 28, 2026

It’s absolutely hilarious to see the liberal media still trying to cling to their failed narratives about our great President…

Nicolas Cage is Apparently a Spider Now Because Why Not
Breaking News: Nicolas Cage to Play Spider-Noir, Because Who Needs a Social Life, Anyway? 🚨🕸️
Breaking, Movie News

Nicolas Cage is Apparently a Spider Now Because Why Not

FinnApril 27, 2026April 27, 2026

In a move that has left everyone wondering if Nicolas Cage has finally lost all sense of reality, Prime Video…

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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