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Category: Breaking

Korn Drummer’s Studio: Prepare for Disappointment
Okay, here's your dose of musical mayhem. Prepare to have your eardrums… mildly amused. 🤣
Breaking, Music News

Korn Drummer’s Studio: Prepare for Disappointment

Chord F. DiscordDecember 5, 2025December 5, 2025

KORN‘s Ray Luzier, the dude who hits things for a living, just dropped a THIRTEEN-MINUTE video showcasing his “Lose Yer…

Roland Gift Spotted at Train Station, Probably Just Lost
Breaking

Roland Gift Spotted at Train Station, Probably Just Lost

Chord F. DiscordDecember 5, 2025December 5, 2025

Roland Gift, of *checks notes* Fine Young Cannibals (who?), decided to grace the peasants at London’s St. Pancras International with…

Trump’s Brain Trust Plots European Rebellion and Declares ‘Yankee Go Home’ (From the Western Hemisphere)
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Brain Trust Plots European Rebellion and Declares ‘Yankee Go Home’ (From the Western Hemisphere)

Big ElephantDecember 5, 2025December 5, 2025

Another day, another victory for President Trump and America! The liberal media (aka CNN) is desperately trying to spin President…

JD Vance’s Marriage: Real or Just a Political Prop
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

JD Vance’s Marriage: Real or Just a Political Prop

Big ElephantDecember 5, 2025December 5, 2025

JD Vance, that MAGA stud, says he and his wonderful wife Usha are laughing all the way to the bank…

Consumer Spending Taking a Snooze While Inflation’s Still Throwing a Party
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Consumer Spending Taking a Snooze While Inflation’s Still Throwing a Party

Big ElephantDecember 5, 2025December 5, 2025

Fake News CNN is at it again, folks! They’re trying to make you believe the economy is struggling, but don’t…

Helldivers 2: Witness the Clankers Get Clapped (and Everything’s Still Burning)
Breaking, Games News

Helldivers 2: Witness the Clankers Get Clapped (and Everything’s Still Burning)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 4, 2025December 4, 2025

Alright, listen up, ya filthy casuals! Helldivers 2, the only game that matters (according to me, and I’m always right),…

Birmingham Airport Will NOT Become Ozzy Osbourne International Airport: Airport Boss Shuts Down Brummie’s Dreams (Again)
Breaking, Music News

Birmingham Airport Will NOT Become Ozzy Osbourne International Airport: Airport Boss Shuts Down Brummie’s Dreams (Again)

Chord F. DiscordDecember 4, 2025December 4, 2025

So, the bigwigs at Birmingham Airport, bless their cotton socks, have officially stamped on our dreams of landing at “Ozzy…

Gods, Death & Reapers Preview: I Survived the Netherworld (and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt)
Breaking, Games News

Gods, Death & Reapers Preview: I Survived the Netherworld (and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 4, 2025December 4, 2025

🤣 Gods, Death & Reapers, or as I like to call it, “Yet Another Game That’ll Probably Be Abandoned in…

Nickelodeon’s Sliming Its Way Into Fortnite, Bringing Back That One Guy You Forgot Existed
Breaking, Games News

Nickelodeon’s Sliming Its Way Into Fortnite, Bringing Back That One Guy You Forgot Existed

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 4, 2025December 4, 2025

Oh, great, ANOTHER collab! šŸ™„ Fortnite, in its infinite wisdom (or lack thereof), is apparently dragging Nickelodeon’s *Danny Phantom* into…

FBI Finally Catches Guy Who Watched Too Much ‘Home Alone’ and Built a Bomb, Like, Two Years Ago
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

FBI Finally Catches Guy Who Watched Too Much ‘Home Alone’ and Built a Bomb, Like, Two Years Ago

Big ElephantDecember 4, 2025December 4, 2025

Folks, another deep state operative has been dragged out of the shadows! They want you to believe this pipe bomber…

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Latest posts

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  • Buckethead in Charlotte, NC (05/28/2026)
  • Get Ready for the Most Epic R&B Party on a Rooftop That Will Probably End with a Noise Complaint and a Visit from the Police
  • OH JOY Another Has Been from the 80s is Desperately Trying to be Relevant Again with Their Super Original Sounding Solo Album Called Dirty Foot Lane Wow What a Unique Title

Editorial
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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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