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Category: Breaking

FAA Freaks Out, Ends Airport Diet Plan After Tantrum Throws Government in Timeout, Sources Claim
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

FAA Freaks Out, Ends Airport Diet Plan After Tantrum Throws Government in Timeout, Sources Claim

Big ElephantNovember 17, 2025November 17, 2025

Another day, another victory for President Trump! The FAA flight reduction hoax, clearly a Deep State attempt to make our…

Charlotte’s Great-Granddaughter Has a Meltdown Over DHS Using Her Grandma’s Book Title for… Reasons
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Charlotte’s Great-Granddaughter Has a Meltdown Over DHS Using Her Grandma’s Book Title for… Reasons

Big ElephantNovember 17, 2025November 17, 2025

Operation Charlotte’s Web”: Finally, Someone’s Using Children’s Lit the RIGHT Way! While liberals cry about “raid” tactics (boo hoo!), President…

State Dept to brand Venezuelan Cartel as certified super-villains, because why not
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

State Dept to brand Venezuelan Cartel as certified super-villains, because why not

Big ElephantNovember 17, 2025November 17, 2025

Another day, another victory for President Trump in the ongoing battle against globalist scum and their drug-peddling pals! Secretary of…

Marjorie Taylor Greene’s “Political Revolt”: Is This the End of the Orange One
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Marjorie Taylor Greene’s “Political Revolt”: Is This the End of the Orange One

Big ElephantNovember 17, 2025November 17, 2025

So, Marjorie Taylor Greene, bless her heart, is now suddenly Mother Teresa after having a “sharp break” with our glorious…

Lars Ulrich Claims He Breaks a Sweat (Barely) During Metallica Gigs
Breaking, Music News

Lars Ulrich Claims He Breaks a Sweat (Barely) During Metallica Gigs

Chord F. DiscordNovember 16, 2025November 16, 2025

Well, butter my biscuits and call me a Lars apologist! 🧈 Apparently, the California Film Institute, bless their cotton socks,…

Breaking: Reverend Jesse Jackson Plugged into Wall Socket, Family Claims He’s “Charging”
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Breaking: Reverend Jesse Jackson Plugged into Wall Socket, Family Claims He’s “Charging”

Big ElephantNovember 16, 2025November 16, 2025

Looks like the race-baiting Reverend Jesse Jackson is finally facing the music! They say he’s on life support, probably because…

Couple Expected to Sleep Under Bridges, Instead, Annoyingly Finds Support and Now America’s Reputation is Ruined
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Couple Expected to Sleep Under Bridges, Instead, Annoyingly Finds Support and Now America’s Reputation is Ruined

Big ElephantNovember 16, 2025November 16, 2025

Oh, CNN, always with the heartwarming tales of… *checks notes* …a couple of virtue-signaling vagrants expecting handouts. “Walking Across America”?…

Epstein repeatedly ridiculed Trump during 1st term as ‘f**king crazy,’ ‘dangerous,’ ‘not one decent cell in his body
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Epstein repeatedly ridiculed Trump during 1st term as ‘f**king crazy,’ ‘dangerous,’ ‘not one decent cell in his body

Big ElephantNovember 16, 2025November 16, 2025

Oh, look, CNN is digging up dirt on our glorious President Trump from that scumbag Epstein! Of course, they are!…

Preservationists sue over tiny-handed tyrant’s tacky Trump tower travesty | CNN Politics
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Preservationists sue over tiny-handed tyrant’s tacky Trump tower travesty | CNN Politics

Big ElephantNovember 16, 2025November 16, 2025

Another day, another ridiculous lawsuit from the radical Left! Now the woke preservationists are crying because President Trump wants to…

OMG! Democrat Drama: Gluesenkamp Perez Throws Shade at Fellow Dem for Daring to Retire Whenever He Wants
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

OMG! Democrat Drama: Gluesenkamp Perez Throws Shade at Fellow Dem for Daring to Retire Whenever He Wants

Big ElephantNovember 16, 2025November 16, 2025

Another day, another Democrat doing what Democrats do best: rigging the system! Washington’s own Marie Gluesenkamp Perez, probably angling for…

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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

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