Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The Trump administration has released final plans for its proposed 250-foot triumphal arch in Washington, DC, and let me tell you, it’s a real doozy. The plans, made public by the federal National Capital Planning Commission, show a “ceremonial gateway” to the nation’s capital, but noticeably absent are the key features of a military complex that President Donald Trump used as justification for the project. I mean, who needs drones and snipers when you can have a fancy arch, right?
The new documents describe the project as a ceremonial gateway, which is a far cry from the national security purpose Trump initially touted. It’s almost as if the administration is trying to sneak one past us. The arch would sit squarely in a traffic circle connecting Washington, DC to Virginia, with an observation deck offering views of Arlington National Cemetery. Because, you know, what’s more respectful to the fallen than a big, flashy arch?
Now, I’m no expert, but it seems to me that the administration is trying to have its cake and eat it too. On one hand, they’re saying the arch is just a ceremonial thingy, but on the other hand, they’re leaving the door open for it to be used as a military complex. An Interior Department spokesperson told CNN that the current design of the arch is capable of accommodating the national security functions Trump highlighted in a social media post. So, which is it? Is it a ceremonial gateway or a military outpost?
The Advisory Council on Historic Preservation is conducting a private review of the matter, because, of course, they are. And the Pentagon is referring all questions to the White House, which is just a fancy way of saying they don’t know what’s going on either. It’s all very confusing, but one thing is clear: this arch is going to be a real controversy.
The plans without the military complex have been approved by the Commission of Fine Arts and have received preliminary approval from the National Capital Planning Commission. But the administration is still eyeing November’s meeting for final approval, because they’re nothing if not optimistic. I mean, who needs a little thing like public opinion when you’ve got a fancy arch to build?
In conclusion, the Trump administration’s proposed triumphal arch is a bit of a mess, but hey, at least it’ll be a nice spot for tourists to take selfies. And who knows, maybe they’ll even get to see some drones and snipers in action. After all, as the saying goes, “if you build it, they will come” – or in this case, if you build a giant arch, people will definitely come to argue about it. 🙄
Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.
Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.
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