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Category: Breaking

Sully Sullenberger’s Next Emergency Landing: His Own Memory
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Sully Sullenberger’s Next Emergency Landing: His Own Memory

Big ElephantJuly 14, 2026

I’m sitting here sipping my coffee, reading about Capt. Chesley B. “Sully” Sullenberger III, and I have to say, this…

Soulfly still exists somehow and is touring with Nailbomb in 2026
Breaking, Music News

Soulfly still exists somehow and is touring with Nailbomb in 2026

Chord F. DiscordJuly 14, 2026July 14, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some epic news? 🤯 I just spilled my beer all over my shirt…

Dave Mustaine bravely tackles Metallicas Ride The Lightning with vocals that wont shatter glass
Breaking, Music News

Dave Mustaine bravely tackles Metallicas Ride The Lightning with vocals that wont shatter glass

Chord F. DiscordJuly 14, 2026July 14, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some serious nostalgia and possibly a few eye-rolls? 🙄 Dave Mustaine, the legendary…

Blue States Get To Keep Their Money Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Blue States Get To Keep Their Money Apparently

Big ElephantJuly 14, 2026

The Trump administration has decided to rescind its effort to freeze $10 billion in childcare and social assistance funding for…

Magic meets Star Trek in bold crossover cash grab with familiar faces
Breaking, Games News

Magic meets Star Trek in bold crossover cash grab with familiar faces

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 14, 2026July 14, 2026

Get ready to boldly go where no Magic: The Gathering player has gone before, as Wizards of the Coast has…

RIP Mike Browning because you clearly wanted to read about another dead musician today
Breaking, Music News

RIP Mike Browning because you clearly wanted to read about another dead musician today

Chord F. DiscordJuly 14, 2026

Oh no, the metal world is doomed… or at least that’s what I keep telling myself as I drown my…

IRON MAIDEN sells soul to soulless corporation because legacy acts need mortgages too
Breaking, Music News

IRON MAIDEN sells soul to soulless corporation because legacy acts need mortgages too

Chord F. DiscordJuly 14, 2026

Oh boy, are you ready for some “exciting” news? 🤯 IRON MAIDEN has just partnered with Pophouse Entertainment, because what…

Carrie remake departs from novel in predictable cash-grab fashion somehow
Breaking, Movie News

Carrie remake departs from novel in predictable cash-grab fashion somehow

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 14, 2026

It’s time to get excited, and also a little worried, as Prime Video is bringing Stephen King’s classic novel Carrie…

Gaming Gold: Screen Time Gets a Neurological Reality Check
Breaking, Games News

Gaming Gold: Screen Time Gets a Neurological Reality Check

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 14, 2026

The gaming industry has finally reached the pinnacle of success, with a worth of over $200 billion and still growing.…

Paramount and WBD duke it out in court again somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Paramount and WBD duke it out in court again somehow

Big ElephantJuly 14, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A coalition of 12 state attorneys general has filed an antitrust…

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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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