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Category: Breaking

Oh GREAT, Steve Perry and Willie Nelson Ruin a Perfectly Good Journey Song, Just What the World Needed
Breaking

Oh GREAT, Steve Perry and Willie Nelson Ruin a Perfectly Good Journey Song, Just What the World Needed

Chord F. DiscordMay 14, 2025May 14, 2025

🚨🚨BREAKING: Steve Perry, formerly known as the voice of JOURNEY (but let’s be real, the *only* reason anyone listened), has…

CRYPTOPSY Drops a Video So Brutal It’ll Make Your Grandma Clutch Her Pearls and Demand More
Breaking

CRYPTOPSY Drops a Video So Brutal It’ll Make Your Grandma Clutch Her Pearls and Demand More

Chord F. DiscordMay 13, 2025May 13, 2025

So, CRYPTOPSY, those lovable grandpas of guttural growls, are dropping their *ninth* studio album, “An Insatiable Violence,” on June 20…

Marvel’s 1943: Rise of Hydra Gets Pushed Back to 2026, Apparently “Best Possible Experience” Requires Time Travel
Breaking

Marvel’s 1943: Rise of Hydra Gets Pushed Back to 2026, Apparently “Best Possible Experience” Requires Time Travel

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 13, 2025May 13, 2025

Oh, great, another video game delay! 🙄 Skydance New Media, the folks who brought you… well, nothing much yet, have…

Microsoft Gently Prunes a Few Unnecessary Weeds, Definitely Not a Bloodbath
Breaking

Microsoft Gently Prunes a Few Unnecessary Weeds, Definitely Not a Bloodbath

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 13, 2025May 13, 2025

Breaking News! Microsoft, the company that brought you Clippy (RIP, you annoying paperclip 📎), is at it again! Seems like…

Gal Gadot and Some Other Dude to Ruin ‘Ruin’
Breaking

Gal Gadot and Some Other Dude to Ruin ‘Ruin’

FinnMay 13, 2025May 13, 2025

Oh, joy! Another Gal Gadot movie! Because the world CLEARLY needs more of… that. 🙄 And this time, she’s gracing…

CBGB FESTIVAL 2025: We Dug Up Some Legends (Literally, Maybe)
Breaking

CBGB FESTIVAL 2025: We Dug Up Some Legends (Literally, Maybe)

Chord F. DiscordMay 13, 2025May 13, 2025

OMG! 😱 They’re resurrecting CBGB (again?) with the CBGB Festival, brought to you by the oh-so-punk corporate overlords at The…

OMG, Remember These ‘Singers’? (AKA The 2000s, A Dark Time for Music)
Breaking

OMG, Remember These ‘Singers’? (AKA The 2000s, A Dark Time for Music)

Chuck B. BallsyMay 13, 2025May 13, 2025

The 2000s? Oh honey, that was a *time*. A time of questionable fashion choices, even more questionable hairstyles, and music…

Ryan Roxie, Probably-Never-Gonna-Be-As-Good-As-Alice-Cooper Guitarist, Releases Single That’s TOTALLY ‘Better Than You’ (Says Him)
Breaking

Ryan Roxie, Probably-Never-Gonna-Be-As-Good-As-Alice-Cooper Guitarist, Releases Single That’s TOTALLY ‘Better Than You’ (Says Him)

Chord F. DiscordMay 13, 2025May 13, 2025

OMG! 😱🎸 Ryan Roxie, the guy who occasionally strums a guitar next to Alice Cooper, is back with a NEW…

Queens of the Stone Age: ‘Alive In the Catacombs’ – More Like ‘Barely Conscious In a Basement,’ Am I Right
Breaking

Queens of the Stone Age: ‘Alive In the Catacombs’ – More Like ‘Barely Conscious In a Basement,’ Am I Right

Chord F. DiscordMay 13, 2025May 13, 2025

QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE, those lovable desert weirdos, are finally releasing that Catacombs thing everyone totally forgot about. Prepare…

Ubisoft Toronto Accidentally Unlocks Its Doors, Celebrates 15 Years of… Something
Breaking

Ubisoft Toronto Accidentally Unlocks Its Doors, Celebrates 15 Years of… Something

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 12, 2025May 12, 2025

Ah, Ubisoft Toronto, bless their hearts. 🙄 They’re opening their doors for Doors Open Toronto to celebrate… wait for it……

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Latest posts

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  • Buckethead in Charlotte, NC (05/28/2026)
  • OH JOY Another Has Been from the 80s is Desperately Trying to be Relevant Again with Their Super Original Sounding Solo Album Called Dirty Foot Lane Wow What a Unique Title
  • Three Entirely Not Overhyped or Played Out Simpsons Episodes Are Being Held for Ransom Exclusively on Disney+

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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