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Category: Breaking

ZETRO the Party Pooper: Fired for Being a Debbie Downer in EXODUS, Claims Gary Holt
Breaking, Music News

ZETRO the Party Pooper: Fired for Being a Debbie Downer in EXODUS, Claims Gary Holt

Chord F. DiscordJune 28, 2025June 28, 2025

So, EXODUS guitarist Gary Holt, bless his little heart, did an interview with some Serbian journalist, Jadranka Janković Nešić (who?),…

Lou Gramm Still Hawking Foreigner Tunes in Florida: Yawn
Breaking, Music News

Lou Gramm Still Hawking Foreigner Tunes in Florida: Yawn

Chord F. DiscordJune 28, 2025June 28, 2025

OMG! 😱 Did anyone ACTUALLY watch that “performance” from Lou Gramm on the Djbobstar YouTube channel? 🤣 Seriously, it’s like…

28 Years Later: More Like 28 Years Wasted, Am I Right
Breaking, Movie News

28 Years Later: More Like 28 Years Wasted, Am I Right

FinnJune 27, 2025June 27, 2025

Oh, honey, let’s talk about ’28 Years Later’ and its *totally* unpredictable ending that NO ONE saw coming. 🙄 If…

Owen Wilson’s Nose Dives Back Into the ‘Meet The Parents’ Dumpster Fire
Breaking, Movie News

Owen Wilson’s Nose Dives Back Into the ‘Meet The Parents’ Dumpster Fire

FinnJune 27, 2025June 27, 2025

Oh, sweet merciful crap, they’re doing another ‘Meet the Parents’ movie? 🙄 Is nothing sacred anymore? Are we really scraping…

ROYALE LYNN Drops ‘WTCH’ Music Video and a ‘Black Magic’ Album – Because We Needed More Magic
Breaking, Music News

ROYALE LYNN Drops ‘WTCH’ Music Video and a ‘Black Magic’ Album – Because We Needed More Magic

Chord F. DiscordJune 27, 2025June 27, 2025

Okay, so Nashville “rocker” 🙄 (air quotes, people!) Royale Lynn, bless her heart, has unleashed her new auditory assault, “Black…

Jake Gyllenhaal Considers Endorsing Scrubs Commercial
Breaking, Movie News

Jake Gyllenhaal Considers Endorsing Scrubs Commercial

FinnJune 27, 2025June 27, 2025

**Oh, look, it’s Jake Gyllenhaal, still trying to be relevant! 🙄 Apparently, after failing to impress anyone with his “acting”…

Capcom Thought About Ruining Resident Evil With Open World and Online Nonsense
Breaking, Games News

Capcom Thought About Ruining Resident Evil With Open World and Online Nonsense

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 27, 2025June 27, 2025

**Oh, honey, buckle up buttercups! Resident Evil Requiem, or as I like to call it, “Capcom’s Identity Crisis: The Game,”…

Monster Hunter Wilds Dares to Drop Another Update on June 30, Bravely Ignoring Your Whining
Breaking, Games News

Monster Hunter Wilds Dares to Drop Another Update on June 30, Bravely Ignoring Your Whining

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 27, 2025June 27, 2025

Oh, look, it’s been a whole four months since Monster Hunter Wilds graced (or disgraced) our consoles and PCs. Capcom,…

Smashing Pumpkins Milking ‘Machina’ For All It’s Worth With Ridiculous 25th-Anniversary Reissue Variants
Breaking, Music News

Smashing Pumpkins Milking ‘Machina’ For All It’s Worth With Ridiculous 25th-Anniversary Reissue Variants

Chord F. DiscordJune 27, 2025June 27, 2025

FINALLY! 🙄 After YEARS of promising, Billy Corgan (aka William Patrick Corgan, in case you forgot he’s trying to be…

AC/DC Kicks Off Geriatric Summer Tour in Prague, Czech President Spotted Napping in Crowd
Breaking, Music News

AC/DC Kicks Off Geriatric Summer Tour in Prague, Czech President Spotted Napping in Crowd

Chord F. DiscordJune 27, 2025June 27, 2025

So, the geriatric rockers AC/DC, bless their cotton socks, 👵👴 allegedly “kicked off” their European “Power Up” tour in Prague…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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