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Category: Breaking

Murderbot: Apathetic Robot Saves Humanity (Again, Ugh)
Breaking

Murderbot: Apathetic Robot Saves Humanity (Again, Ugh)

FinnMay 26, 2025May 26, 2025

Okay, so some “critics” are slobbering all over ‘Murderbot’ and giving it a “respectable” 7.5/10. 🙄 As if that means…

Peter David, Guy Who Wrote About a Big Green Dude, Kicks the Bucket at Almost 70, No Hulking Out Required
Breaking

Peter David, Guy Who Wrote About a Big Green Dude, Kicks the Bucket at Almost 70, No Hulking Out Required

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 26, 2025May 26, 2025

Oh no! 😱 Apparently, some dude named Peter David, a “writer of stuff” (his words, not mine 🙄), shuffled off…

Gene Hoglan Says Dark Angel’s New Album Will Totally Melt Your Face (Probably Not)
Breaking

Gene Hoglan Says Dark Angel’s New Album Will Totally Melt Your Face (Probably Not)

Chord F. DiscordMay 26, 2025May 26, 2025

OMG! 😱 After approximately eleventy billion years, DARK ANGEL, those geriatric thrash metal “pioneers” from California, are FINALLY releasing a…

Has-Been Katy Perry CLONES Miley’s Career?! 😱 Brother EXPOSES Petty Pop Princess! 💅😂
Breaking

Has-Been Katy Perry CLONES Miley’s Career?! 😱 Brother EXPOSES Petty Pop Princess! 💅😂

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 25, 2025May 25, 2025

Oh, honey, grab your popcorn! 🍿 It seems the only thing higher than Katy Perry’s space flight was Trace Cyrus’s…

GHOST: “Phone-Free” Tour Gets Owned by Phone (Oslo Show Leaked!)
Breaking

GHOST: “Phone-Free” Tour Gets Owned by Phone (Oslo Show Leaked!)

Chord F. DiscordMay 25, 2025May 25, 2025

Fan-filmed video of GHOST performing the song “Square Hammer” on May 24 at Spektrum in Oslo, Norway can be seen…

Taime Downe Cries on Stage (Again) After Losing Another One
Breaking

Taime Downe Cries on Stage (Again) After Losing Another One

Chord F. DiscordMay 25, 2025May 25, 2025

In a riveting exposé with Troy Patrick Farrell of the earth-shattering This That And The Other radio show (never heard…

AC/DC’s Chicago Concert in 4K: Prepare to Have Your Eyeballs Melted (Maybe) During Their 2025 “We Swear This Is The Last One” Tour
Breaking

AC/DC’s Chicago Concert in 4K: Prepare to Have Your Eyeballs Melted (Maybe) During Their 2025 “We Swear This Is The Last One” Tour

Chord F. DiscordMay 25, 2025May 26, 2025

OMG! 😱 MusicJunkie422 (probably some tone-deaf millennial) has uploaded 4K video of AC/DC’s May 24 concert at Soldier Field in…

PATRIK JENSEN of THE HAUNTED Finally Figured Out How to Plug In His Guitar After 8 Whole Years
Breaking

PATRIK JENSEN of THE HAUNTED Finally Figured Out How to Plug In His Guitar After 8 Whole Years

Chord F. DiscordMay 24, 2025May 24, 2025

So, THE HAUNTED, those Swedish thrash metal *pioneers* (air quotes, obviously), are FINALLY gracing us with a new album, “Songs…

Pokémon TCG Pocket: Prepare for Eldritch Horrors from Dimensions We Didn’t Even Know We Needed to Exploit For Cardboard
Breaking

Pokémon TCG Pocket: Prepare for Eldritch Horrors from Dimensions We Didn’t Even Know We Needed to Exploit For Cardboard

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 24, 2025May 24, 2025

OMG, you guys, they’re STILL milking this Pokemon TCG Pocket thing? 🙄 Like, haven’t they heard of, I don’t know,…

Oh Noes! More Time to Panic About Those Comic Book Thingies Being Late!
Breaking

Oh Noes! More Time to Panic About Those Comic Book Thingies Being Late!

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 24, 2025May 24, 2025

Oh, the humanity! Or, you know, the Marvel Cinematic Universe-ity. Those “epic” Avengers movies, Doomsday and Secret Wars, have been…

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Latest posts

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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