Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Category: Breaking

‘These were ISIS-inspired actions’: 2 dudes charged after IEDs are tossed near Mayor Mamdani’s crib
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

‘These were ISIS-inspired actions’: 2 dudes charged after IEDs are tossed near Mayor Mamdani’s crib

Big ElephantMarch 26, 2026March 26, 2026

Just Another Day in Democrat Utopia: NYC Under Siege by “ISIS-Inspired” Clowns Oh look, it’s just another peaceful protest in…

Soft Cell Finally Releases Album for All the Basement Dwelling Misfits Who Still Think the 80s Were Cool Out Come The Freaks
Breaking, Music News

Soft Cell Finally Releases Album for All the Basement Dwelling Misfits Who Still Think the 80s Were Cool Out Come The Freaks

Chord F. DiscordMarch 26, 2026March 26, 2026

Get ready to freak out with Soft Cell’s latest release, because Soft Cell is back with a bang, or should…

Super Mario Galaxy Movie Invades Cosmos With Fox McCloud, Because Why Not Throw Star Fox Into the Mix?
Nintendo just threw Starfox fans a bone, and yes, it's furry, blue, and flying an Arwing into theaters
Breaking, Movie News

Super Mario Galaxy Movie Invades Cosmos With Fox McCloud, Because Why Not Throw Star Fox Into the Mix?

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMarch 26, 2026March 26, 2026

Oh look, Nintendo decided to drop a new character poster right before the release of *The Super Mario Galaxy Movie*,…

Dying Light: The Beast Unleashes the Restored Land Edition Apocalypse Across Every Platform Known to Humanity and Possibly a Few Unknown Ones
Hold Onto Your Brains, Survivors — Techland Is Back With Another Zombie-Slaughtering Extravaganza!
Breaking, Games News

Dying Light: The Beast Unleashes the Restored Land Edition Apocalypse Across Every Platform Known to Humanity and Possibly a Few Unknown Ones

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMarch 26, 2026March 26, 2026

Well, well, well — look who decided to grace us with yet another reason to never leave our couches! Techland,…

30 Days of Night: Now in 4K Because Your TV Deserves More Vampire Gore in Its Life
Breaking, Movie News

30 Days of Night: Now in 4K Because Your TV Deserves More Vampire Gore in Its Life

FinnMarch 26, 2026March 26, 2026

Oh great, another re-release of a film that’s older than your grandma’s dentures. This time, it’s “30 Days of Night”…

Scary Movie gets a poster — because even horror needs a marketing team to scream about it!
Scary Movie 6: The Final Chapter (Until the Next One)
Breaking, Movie News

Scary Movie gets a poster — because even horror needs a marketing team to scream about it!

FinnMarch 26, 2026March 26, 2026

Twenty-six years after surviving the most recognizable Halloween costume in cinematic history, the Core Four are back to prove that…

Live Nation Antitrust Trial Resuming: Because Apparently Settling Was Too Mainstream
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Live Nation Antitrust Trial Resuming: Because Apparently Settling Was Too Mainstream

Big ElephantMarch 26, 2026March 26, 2026

Justice Department Caves to Live Nation in Another Biden-Era Softball Settlement Well, well, well, looks like the swamp creatures at…

Trump Claims Middle East ‘Win’ While Avoiding Tough Question Like a Pro
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Claims Middle East ‘Win’ While Avoiding Tough Question Like a Pro

Big ElephantMarch 26, 2026March 26, 2026

Hold on to your MAGA hats, folks! Donald Trump, the greatest negotiator since Moses parted the Red Sea, just brokered…

Trump’s New Fundraising Email: Features Soldiers’ Dignified Transfer Photo, Promises ‘Private National Security Briefings’ for VIPs
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s New Fundraising Email: Features Soldiers’ Dignified Transfer Photo, Promises ‘Private National Security Briefings’ for VIPs

Big ElephantMarch 26, 2026March 26, 2026

Patriots, Rejoice! Trump’s ‘National Security Briefings’ Offer the Truth Democrats Want to Hide! President Donald J. Trump, the Commander-in-Chief who…

Bill Maher to receive Mark Twain Prize at Kennedy Center after White House denied reports
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Bill Maher to receive Mark Twain Prize at Kennedy Center after White House denied reports

Big ElephantMarch 26, 2026March 26, 2026

TV host Bill Maher will receive the prestigious Mark Twain Prize for American Humor, the Kennedy Center announced on Thursday…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 64 65 66 … 381 Next

Latest posts

  • More Overhyped Shows And Movies To Make You Forget You Have Responsibilities And A Social Life In June 2026
  • Computex 2026: AMD Throws a Party for Ancient AM4 Tech and Slaps a Cheap Sticker on New Stuff to Make You Feel Better About Buying Last Year’s Rejects
  • DAVID DRAIMAN Claims DISTURBED’s New Songs Are So Groundbreakingly Original You’ll Forget They’re The Same Band That’s Been Playing The Same Riff For 20 Years
  • Blue Moon because who needs actual moonwalking skills when you can just trudge through a marsh in Scarborough
  • Overpriced Raw Fish and Questionable Life Choices Await at The Sushi Social Bites Bottles

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
June 2026
S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
282930  
« May    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}