Musk Throws Cash At Texas Senate Race Because Why Not
Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Texas Republicans have been waiting for what feels like an eternity…
Category: Breaking
Trump’s Ex-Enforcer Thinks Admin Isn’t Mean Enough Apparently
I’m sipping my coffee and reading about Greg Bovino, the former Border Patrol commander who’s been making waves with his…
Another Brilliant Movie Tie-In To Separate You From Your Money
Because What the World Really Needed Was a Ghost Face Soda Do you like scary movies? Do you like novel…
Kelly Clarkson Was Absolutely Thrilled to Be Forced Into a Life of Fame and Fortune Against Her Will on American Idol
Kelly Clarkson, the OG American Idol winner, is still out here living her best life, and we’re all just over…
Evanescence Makes Another Music Video Because You Clearly Needed More Amy Lee In Your Life
Oh boy, are you guys ready for some exciting news? 🤩 I mean, I’m not, but I’ll pretend to be.…
Missouri Politely Asks Supreme Court for Favorable Gerrymander
Well, folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Missouri officials are asking the Supreme Court to reinstate a…
First Class Now Includes Free Duct Tape Restraints
Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A passenger on American Airlines Flight 618 from Dallas Fort Worth…
Trump’s Excellent Adventure Continues With Sketchy Qatari Jet Ride
Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about President Trump’s latest travel plans, and I have to say, it’s quite…
US Lets Venezuelan Businessman Off Hook Because Oil
Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems that Venezuelan businessman Alejandro Betancourt has been at the…
Nicolas Cage Punches Nazis and Steals the Show in the Most Epic Battle of Good vs Evil Ever aka Fortitude Trailer Starring Some Other People Too
Oh boy, are you guys ready for the most epic, action-packed, and totally-not-made-up story of World War II? 🤣 I…