Notre-Dame Reopened To Fire
Read MoreThe OnionPARIS—After five years of painstaking reconstruction, the famed Notre-Dame cathedral reportedly reopened Friday to fire. “As a key…
Category: The Onion
New ‘Odyssey’ Adaptation Criticized For Dropping Original’s Group Dance Scene Ending
Read MoreThe OnionLOS ANGELES—Drawing widespread condemnation from classics scholars around world, the new Odyssey adaptation The Return was criticized this…
UnitedHealthcare CEO Killed
Read MoreThe OnionBrian Thompson, the CEO of UnitedHealth’s insurance unit, was fatally shot outside a Midtown Manhattan hotel in what…
Judge Delays Decision After Learning One Menendez Brother Always Lies, One Always Tells The Truth
Read MoreThe OnionLOS ANGELES—Appearing stumped by the convicted murderers’ testimony, Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Michael Jesic reportedly delayed his…
Hospital Sends Man Home With Loaner Dad While His Worked On
Read MoreThe OnionSEATTLE—Saying the amenity was meant to ease any inconvenience caused by the disruption to his daily routine, Harborview…
Standing Desk Celebrates 4th Year At Lowest Possible Setting
Read MoreThe OnionThe post Standing Desk Celebrates 4th Year At Lowest Possible Setting appeared first on The Onion.
How The Trump Administration Will Carry Out Mass Deportation
Read MoreThe OnionPresident-elect Donald Trump pledged to fulfill his campaign promise of removing millions of undocumented immigrants in a “record-setting…
Nation’s Mumblers March On Washington Demanding Something Or Other
Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—With a half-whispered murmur of “Hey, hey, ho, ho, [inaudible] has got to [inaudible],” thousands of the nation’s…
Jon M. Chu Defends Splitting ‘Wicked’ Into 230,400 Successive Images
Read MoreThe OnionLOS ANGELES—Making his case that the story of Elphaba and Glinda was too big for one picture, director…