President Biden Pardons Son Hunter
Read MoreThe OnionPresident Joe Biden pardoned his son Hunter, sparing him a possible prison sentence for federal felony gun and…
Category: The Onion
Study: More Americans Buying Firearms To Defend Selves From Toddlers Who Found Their Guns
Read MoreThe OnionThe post Study: More Americans Buying Firearms To Defend Selves From Toddlers Who Found Their Guns appeared first…
Pros And Cons Of Eliminating The Department Of Education
Read MoreThe OnionPresident-elect Donald Trump promised to abolish the U.S. Department of Education. The Onion examines the pros and cons…
Aaron Rodgers Takes Blame For Parts Of Game Where Jets Were Winning
Read MoreThe OnionFLORHAM PARK, NJ—Apologizing to fans and pledging to do better in the future, New York Jets quarterback Aaron…
Girlfriend Keeps Dropping Hints About Wanting 17-Hectare Mausoleum Complex
Read MoreThe OnionSPARTA, OH—Noting that her desires were becoming increasingly less subtle, local man Tommy Hull confirmed Monday that his…
American Express Launches Small Sweatshop Saturday
Read MoreThe OnionNEW YORK—In an effort to support factories that exploit cheap labor but employ 50 or fewer people, American…
Parents Completely Jacked 3 Months Into Retirement
Read MoreThe OnionThe post Parents Completely Jacked 3 Months Into Retirement appeared first on The Onion.
Americans Celebrate Thanksgiving
Read MoreThe OnionAmericans all across the nation are gathering today to celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday. What are you thankful for?…
FDA Bans Captain Morgan Rum After Having Way Too Much Of That Shit In College
Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—In a memo that stated they couldn’t even smell the stuff without gagging, officials at the Food and…
Manifest Dunce-ity
Read MoreThe OnionThe post Manifest Dunce-ity appeared first on The Onion.