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GOP Spends Big on Crime Ads Without Victims’ Consent Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

GOP Spends Big on Crime Ads Without Victims’ Consent Apparently

Big ElephantOctober 22, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A Republican super PAC, the Senate Leadership Fund, has been using…

Pentagon kindly lends DHS a heat ray for border fun
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Pentagon kindly lends DHS a heat ray for border fun

Big ElephantOctober 21, 2026

The Pentagon has given the Department of Homeland Security permission to test a military-grade heat ray, and I’m reading this…

Senate Debates Bring Drama to Alaska and Maine Thursday
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Senate Debates Bring Drama to Alaska and Maine Thursday

Big ElephantOctober 16, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The latest debates in Maine and Alaska were quite the spectacle.…

Trump Unleashes Inner Chaos Master Again
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Unleashes Inner Chaos Master Again

Big ElephantOctober 15, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems like many Republicans running for office in the 2026…

Republicans Break Bank For Underwhelming Results
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Republicans Break Bank For Underwhelming Results

Big ElephantOctober 14, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems Republicans are throwing hundreds of millions of dollars at…

GOP Desperately Trying to Detach from Sinking Trump Ship
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

GOP Desperately Trying to Detach from Sinking Trump Ship

Big ElephantOctober 12, 2026

The Republican Party’s midterm campaign is looking like a hot mess, folks. Just three weeks out from November, officials are…

Senator Settles Debt To Cookie Vendor After Six Long Years
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Senator Settles Debt To Cookie Vendor After Six Long Years

Big ElephantOctober 11, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about Republican Sen. Roger Marshall, who just settled a six-year-old debt with a…

Republicans Just Got Mathematically Served By Voters Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Republicans Just Got Mathematically Served By Voters Apparently

Big ElephantOctober 11, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems that the dynamics threatening the GOP this year are…

Families Finally Get Answers After Politely Asking For Months
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Families Finally Get Answers After Politely Asking For Months

Big ElephantOctober 8, 2026

Folks, I’m reading this article about a deadly midair collision between a Black Hawk helicopter and an American Airlines regional…

Because What the World Really Needed Was the Super Bowl on Disney+ in 2027
Breaking, Movie News

Because What the World Really Needed Was the Super Bowl on Disney+ in 2027

FinnOctober 7, 2026October 18, 2026

The Super Bowl is coming to streaming, because of course it is. The NFL and Disney announced that Super Bowl…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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