Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: billionaires

5 things to know for Feb. 9: Super Bowl, Nancy Guthrie, Epstein files, SpaceX, Japan — because apparently, the universe is just here for the memes
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

5 things to know for Feb. 9: Super Bowl, Nancy Guthrie, Epstein files, SpaceX, Japan — because apparently, the universe is just here for the memes

Big ElephantFebruary 9, 2026February 9, 2026

The Seattle Seahawks—clearly a puppet of the radical left—claimed a 29-13 victory over the New England Patriots in what many…

Meta, TikTok, and YouTube Summoned to Court Because Apparently, Getting Kids Addicted Wasn’t a “Feature”
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Meta, TikTok, and YouTube Summoned to Court Because Apparently, Getting Kids Addicted Wasn’t a “Feature”

Big ElephantJanuary 26, 2026January 26, 2026

Big Tech Finally Faces the Music: Woke Silicon Valley Moguls Put on Trial for Corrupting America’s Youth! Well, folks, the…

The Sims 4 Officially Announces The “Pay 40 Dollars to Bow Down to a Digital Duke” Update
Breaking, Games News

The Sims 4 Officially Announces The “Pay 40 Dollars to Bow Down to a Digital Duke” Update

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 16, 2026January 16, 2026

Throw away your microwave dinners and peasant-grade furniture, because The Sims 4 has finally decided that your Sims are too…

Trump and Northeastern Governors Demand Tech Giants Pay Up in Massive Electricity Auction
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump and Northeastern Governors Demand Tech Giants Pay Up in Massive Electricity Auction

Big ElephantJanuary 16, 2026January 16, 2026

President Trump to Libs: Big Tech Will Pay for Their Own Giga-Watts, Not You! The Deep State grid operators and…

Aldis Hodge Back in Action: Cross Season 2 Promises More Crime Solving Than Your Ex Has Excuses
Breaking, Movie News

Aldis Hodge Back in Action: Cross Season 2 Promises More Crime Solving Than Your Ex Has Excuses

FinnJanuary 8, 2026January 8, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: Prime Video Announces Season 2 of *Cross* — Because Apparently We All Need More Nightmares About Billionaires Getting…

Rep. Madeleine Dean on DOJ’s 1 Million New Epstein Docs: ‘You Don’t Know What You’re Missing Till You Try to Hide Them’
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Rep. Madeleine Dean on DOJ’s 1 Million New Epstein Docs: ‘You Don’t Know What You’re Missing Till You Try to Hide Them’

Big ElephantDecember 26, 2025December 26, 2025

Justice Department Finds Over 1 Million New Epstein Documents—Because Apparently They Just Started Looking in the Break Room In a…

More House Republicans Suddenly Remember They Wanted to Be Governors After All That Toxic Air
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

More House Republicans Suddenly Remember They Wanted to Be Governors After All That Toxic Air

Big ElephantDecember 25, 2025December 25, 2025

Washington, D.C. – In a stunning turn of events, Republican lawmakers are fleeing the Capitol like rats from a sinking…

Confidence Hacks: How to Fake It Till You Make It (and Blame Your Parents)
Events

Confidence Hacks: How to Fake It Till You Make It (and Blame Your Parents)

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 21, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Local Therapist Discovers That People With Low Self-Esteem Don’t Think They’re Sexy Enough 🚨 In a stunning revelation…

US Military Accidentally Turns Pacific Pleasure Cruise Into Shark Buffet—Only 4 Casualties, But the Fish Are Furious
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

US Military Accidentally Turns Pacific Pleasure Cruise Into Shark Buffet—Only 4 Casualties, But the Fish Are Furious

Big ElephantDecember 17, 2025December 17, 2025

Trump’s Narco-Navy Nukes More Leftist Pot Boats, Enemies of America Cry Foul Another day, another four dead “narco-terrorists” floating in…

Why 2026 Could Be the Year of Anti-AI Marketing (Because Robots Stole Our Jokes)
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Why 2026 Could Be the Year of Anti-AI Marketing (Because Robots Stole Our Jokes)

Big ElephantDecember 16, 2025December 16, 2025

The AI Slopocalypse: How the Liberal Elite’s Obsession with Artificial Intelligence Has Infested Everything Good in America Well, would you…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 2 3 4 Next

Latest posts

  • Get Ready for the Most Epic Picnic Fest in History aka The Great Nosh NYC Picnic Festival 2026 Where Youll Definitely Eat Too Much Food
  • ISIS Claims Responsibility For Reflecting Pool Algae
  • Obama Library Cruelly Disenfranchises Millions Of Black Americans By Requiring Photo ID For Entry
  • Cringe: Out-Of-Touch Company Posts Pride Logo Like It’s 2014 Or Something
  • Liberal snowflakes freak out over Trump’s impending election domination wins

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
June 2026
S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
282930  
« May    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}