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Tag: breaking

‘Jurassic World Rebirth’: Dinosaurs Ate My Homework (and the Box Office)
Breaking, Movie News

‘Jurassic World Rebirth’: Dinosaurs Ate My Homework (and the Box Office)

FinnJuly 8, 2025July 8, 2025

OMG! 🦖 ‘Jurassic World Rebirth’ Ate the Box Office (Like a Raptor Eating a Goat)! 🐐 Seriously, who knew people…

Another Genius Idea: Jon M. Chu’s Gonna Wreck ‘Hot Wheels’ in Live-Action
Breaking, Movie News

Another Genius Idea: Jon M. Chu’s Gonna Wreck ‘Hot Wheels’ in Live-Action

FinnJuly 8, 2025July 8, 2025

Oh, great. Another cinematic masterpiece in the making. 🙄 Jon M. Chu, the visionary behind such groundbreaking films as… *checks…

Nicki Minaj Roasts Old Men and Horses
Breaking, Music News

Nicki Minaj Roasts Old Men and Horses

Chuck B. BallsyJuly 8, 2025July 8, 2025

OMG! 🚨 Nicki Minaj, Queen of Shade and Petty Supremacy, Just Decided to Roast Jay-Z and Megan Thee Stallion Like…

OMG! Yōtei’s Ghostly Shenanigans: A State of Play So Bad It’s Actually Happening on July 10 (Prepare to Cringe)
Breaking, Games News

OMG! Yōtei’s Ghostly Shenanigans: A State of Play So Bad It’s Actually Happening on July 10 (Prepare to Cringe)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 8, 2025July 8, 2025

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! 🥳 Sucker Punch Productions, the geniuses behind that *totally* original samurai game, are gracing…

Dead by Daylight Summons Geriatric Zombie Killers: Rick, Michonne, and Daryl Shuffle Uneasily into The Fog
Breaking, Games News

Dead by Daylight Summons Geriatric Zombie Killers: Rick, Michonne, and Daryl Shuffle Uneasily into The Fog

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 8, 2025July 8, 2025

Oh, great, more content for Dead by Daylight. As if we needed more reasons to get camped in the basement.…

End of Cuteness: Abyss Totes Becomes Top-Down Terror—and I’m Totally Not Crying Inside
Breaking, Games News

End of Cuteness: Abyss Totes Becomes Top-Down Terror—and I’m Totally Not Crying Inside

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 8, 2025July 8, 2025

Okay, so I watched the Summer Game Fest showcase at the YouTube Theatre 🙄, and apparently, I was supposed to…

Marvel’s ‘Wonder Man’: More Like ‘Blunder Man,’ Am I Right
Breaking, Movie News

Marvel’s ‘Wonder Man’: More Like ‘Blunder Man,’ Am I Right

FinnJuly 8, 2025July 8, 2025

Oh boy, buckle up buttercups 🪑, because Marvel’s dredging up another hero from the depths of comic book obscurity! Wonder…

From Bratwurst to Boat Ride: American Screw-Up Gets Kicked to Jamaica
Elephant Reads CNN

From Bratwurst to Boat Ride: American Screw-Up Gets Kicked to Jamaica

Big ElephantJuly 8, 2025July 8, 2025

Another day, another sob story from CNN, folks! This time, it’s about Jermaine Thomas, a “poor” fella deported to Jamaica.…

Opus Major Drops MAJJAM: Prepare for Co-Op Cuteness Overload and Catchy Tunes That Will Haunt Your Dreams
Breaking, Games News

Opus Major Drops MAJJAM: Prepare for Co-Op Cuteness Overload and Catchy Tunes That Will Haunt Your Dreams

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 8, 2025July 8, 2025

Oh, sweet merciful indie game gods, Opus Major (who?) has graced us with MAJJAM, a co-op adventure game where apparently,…

Dead by Daylight and Walking Dead Team Up to Traumatize You More
Breaking, Games News

Dead by Daylight and Walking Dead Team Up to Traumatize You More

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 7, 2025July 7, 2025

Oh, look, another Dead by Daylight crossover. 🙄 Because what this game REALLY needs is MORE content instead of, you…

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Latest posts

  • Therapist Working With Chewbacca On Alternative Coping Mechanisms Besides Pulling People’s Arms Out Of Socket
  • Janet Jackson Announces Super Exclusive Concert for Like 12 People at Some Rich Persons House Called Sandringham Estate Because Who Needs a Normal Venue Anyway
  • IN THIS MOMENT Returns Because You Clearly Didn’t Get Enough Of Their Screaming In Your Ears With Their Brand New Earworm ‘Sleeping With The Enemy’ That Will Haunt You Forever
  • Oh Great Another Has Been Band Releases a Single from Their Desperate Attempt at Relevance Before They Fade into Obscurity with Their Final Studio Album Boom Bang Goodbye called Wait
  • Because the Underworld Wasn’t Depressing Enough Already: Canadians Decide to Make It Worse with INFERIUS

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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