Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: breaking

Prepare your eardrums for a geriatric rock-off as FOREIGNER, propped up by the ancient relic LOU GRAMM, creaks through Santiago, Chile in Spring 2025! ðŸ‘īðŸŽļðŸ‡ĻðŸ‡ąðŸĪĢ
Breaking

Prepare your eardrums for a geriatric rock-off as FOREIGNER, propped up by the ancient relic LOU GRAMM, creaks through Santiago, Chile in Spring 2025! ðŸ‘īðŸŽļðŸ‡ĻðŸ‡ąðŸĪĢ

Chord F. DiscordMay 10, 2025May 10, 2025

HOLY GUACAMOLE! ðŸĨ‘ Fan-filmed video surfaces of FOREIGNER’s May 7th concert in Chile, and let’s just say it’s a masterclass…

So, you wanna know how pixels build (and obliterate) your social life? 😂ðŸŽŪ💔
Breaking

So, you wanna know how pixels build (and obliterate) your social life? 😂ðŸŽŪ💔

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 9, 2025May 19, 2025

Ah, yes, online games: the sacred battlegrounds where friendships are forged in the fires of rage-quitting and passive-aggressive “gg ez”…

The Who, bless their geriatric hearts, are apparently still touring and calling it a “farewell,” again 🙄ðŸ‘īðŸŽļðŸŽĪðŸ’Ļ.
Breaking

The Who, bless their geriatric hearts, are apparently still touring and calling it a “farewell,” again 🙄ðŸ‘īðŸŽļðŸŽĪðŸ’Ļ.

Chord F. DiscordMay 8, 2025May 8, 2025

Alright, listen up, you geriatric rockers! ðŸ‘īðŸ‘ĩ The Who, those purveyors of smashed guitars and tinnitus-inducing anthems, are apparently lumbering…

TURNSTILE Announces a 14-Song Visual Album So Groundbreaking, It’ll Premiere at TRIBECA in 2025, Because Apparently, We Haven’t Suffered Enough Already ðŸĪŠðŸŽŽðŸŽķ
Breaking

TURNSTILE Announces a 14-Song Visual Album So Groundbreaking, It’ll Premiere at TRIBECA in 2025, Because Apparently, We Haven’t Suffered Enough Already ðŸĪŠðŸŽŽðŸŽķ

Chord F. DiscordMay 8, 2025May 10, 2025

OMG! ðŸ˜ą Your favorite band, TURNSTILE (you KNOW, the ones your little brother won’t stop playing?), just announced “Turnstile: Never…

World of Tanks Dressed Up as Vikings Again, Probably to Sell More Loot Boxes 🙄⚔ïļðŸ’°
Breaking

World of Tanks Dressed Up as Vikings Again, Probably to Sell More Loot Boxes 🙄⚔ïļðŸ’°

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 8, 2025May 8, 2025

Oh, great, just what the world needed: more tanks. But wait, hold your horses (or should I say, tanks?)! Wargaming…

Behold, the Death Stranding 2 controller: for when you REALLY wanna feel like you’re holding a baby and walking on a beach…again ðŸ‘ķ🏖ïļðŸ™„.
Breaking

Behold, the Death Stranding 2 controller: for when you REALLY wanna feel like you’re holding a baby and walking on a beach…again ðŸ‘ķ🏖ïļðŸ™„.

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 8, 2025May 8, 2025

Kojima, the absolute madlad, has done it again! They’re releasing a *Death Stranding 2: On the Beach* limited-edition DualSense controller!…

Metallica generously gifts us another ‘Creeping Death’ video from Syracuse, because, you know, we haven’t seen that enough already 🙄ðŸĪ˜
Breaking

Metallica generously gifts us another ‘Creeping Death’ video from Syracuse, because, you know, we haven’t seen that enough already 🙄ðŸĪ˜

Chord F. DiscordMay 7, 2025May 7, 2025

OMG! ðŸ˜ą Did you HEAR?! Someone actually FILMED Metallica playing “Creeping Death” in Syracuse! 🙄 I mean, who cares, right?…

3 Doors Down Dude Says “Bring It On, Cancer!” Like It’s a Free Guitar Solo ðŸĪ˜ðŸŽļ💀
Breaking

3 Doors Down Dude Says “Bring It On, Cancer!” Like It’s a Free Guitar Solo ðŸĪ˜ðŸŽļ💀

Chord F. DiscordMay 7, 2025May 7, 2025

Brad Arnold from 3 DOORS DOWN has stage 4 kidney cancer! ðŸ˜ą Guess “The Better Life” wasn’t all that better,…

OMG! Leaked pics show ASUS’s Xbox handheld and ROG Ally 2 – are they trying to bankrupt us all or just fuel our crippling gadget addiction? ðŸĪĢðŸŽŪ💰
Breaking

OMG! Leaked pics show ASUS’s Xbox handheld and ROG Ally 2 – are they trying to bankrupt us all or just fuel our crippling gadget addiction? ðŸĪĢðŸŽŪ💰

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 7, 2025May 7, 2025

OMG! You won’t BELIEVE what just “leaked” from the FCC! ðŸ˜ą Apparently, ASUS is working on a SECRET “Project Keenan”…

Rammstein’s Christoph Schneider Claims His Drumming Got “Simpler” Over the Years, Probably Because He Finally Realized Less Is More (Or He Just Got Lazy ðŸ˜īðŸĨ)
Breaking

Rammstein’s Christoph Schneider Claims His Drumming Got “Simpler” Over the Years, Probably Because He Finally Realized Less Is More (Or He Just Got Lazy ðŸ˜īðŸĨ)

Chord F. DiscordMay 7, 2025May 7, 2025

So, Christoph Schneider, the guy who hits things really hard in RAMMSTEIN, apparently gave an interview to Thomann’s Drum Bash.…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 233 234 235 … 245 Next

Latest posts

  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Trump restores energy independence and affordability despite blue state sabotage
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Iran Parliament Speaker admits severe hunger crisis nationwide
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald Trump predicts midterm election meltdown on Truth Social
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Trump delivers energy independence and affordability despite democrat sabotage
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald posts on Truth Social August 24 2026

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright ÂĐ 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.